Intimacy: Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I...

By Bushfan101 - 17/03/2010 12:48 - France

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 28 784

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Same thing different taste

By jkon - 04/08/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 281

You deserved it 54 421

By praise the prenup - 03/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 901

You deserved it 3 048

By needfulthing - 19/11/2010 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 3 832

By Deconstructed - 19/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 27 998

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 20:50 - United States

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 031

You deserved it 4 416

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 7 988

By :/ - 03/12/2012 01:57 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 3 288

One man and his lawn

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 16:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 17:44 - United States - Riverside

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 316

You deserved it 37 374

By anon - 20/07/2011 07:55 - Canada

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 3 346

rldostie 19

Wednesday 17 March 2010 20:26

While I have nothing against shaving, and do so myself, I DO have a problem with men who expect or demand it. Really? Do you guys know how much of a hassle it is or what happens if you don't maintain it? A girl should only do it if she wants to. I wonder how guys would feel if all women expected and demanded they shave down south as well.

dynky 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 0:06

what a complete asshole! don't get into shaving, you'll regret it once the skin gets all dry and irritated, and oh god the ITCHING when it starts growing back. Get a guy who has more respect for you.

Comments

etherealshadows 1

Friday 19 March 2010 3:32

Here's a tip: Stop being a *****, a.k.a "hooking up."

lalasha 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 8:01

tell him you are a women and if he wants a child then he should have sex with one but women have hair and children don't

misskity6 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 3:54

....but leave the back

kaitlyn3xo 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 0:18

maybe you do

Brookelle_fml 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 8:12

How is this a fml? Shave your .. front lawn and move on.

Jay_JWLH 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 7:11

Well at least you might appreciate his honesty.

SaturnE_fml 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 1:43

My kids have hair. Just because a woman can grow pubes doesn't mean the woman _keeps_ the pubes. So the difference is that women can grow pubes and children can't.