Health: Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car...

By xattackattackx - 18/11/2011 09:01 - United States

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 755

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Same thing different taste

By M.SHUKRI - 29/03/2015 12:54 - United States - Round Lake

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 829

You deserved it 3 241

By rie - 24/12/2009 00:29 - Ireland

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 443

You deserved it 5 424

By tortured - 27/11/2013 03:11 - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 260

You deserved it 4 589

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 760

You deserved it 2 069

Not now!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 02:01

Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 381

My family

By Anonymous - 07/01/2020 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 404

You deserved it 326

Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados

By Anyonymous_101 - 21/09/2019 14:02

Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 95

By hating labels - 23/10/2012 08:21 - Australia

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 936

You deserved it 5 489

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 881

You deserved it 3 811

Quality family time

By Brother_Out_2024 - 07/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I’m on a highly undesired family vacation with my sisters and their spouses. One sister can’t stop attacking her husband‘s short comings, and the other is having an anxiety attack her wife is woefully unprepared to deal with. Better you than me, Cuñados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 90

purpleamandapand 6

Friday 18 November 2011 15:48

At least it wasn't 138

every1luvsboners 11

Friday 18 November 2011 15:48

Did they come up with cramming a ***** in the tailpipe so that you die from carbon monoxide poisoning? If not, they're amateurs and should find something else to talk about.

Comments

Andr913 13

Friday 18 November 2011 17:58

I'm sending you to the glue factory.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 18 November 2011 18:12

#1 on their list: Throw you in a volcano.

drawmesunshine 17

Friday 18 November 2011 18:56

Only if OP is a virgin.

rattusrattus 18

Friday 18 November 2011 18:12

Stab them with a screwdriver, then salt them. No, wait, that's slugs. Stab them with a screwdriver (cocktail). In the mouth. Hide their mobile phones and cut the phone lines.