Well, it's Monday. So the quota of bad stuff happening has started filling. Hopefully by Wednesday it'll be smooth sailing for you. Hope you heal quickly, OP!

Break that shit

Get a Hammer and break it, then go can buy a better one with a removable battery. There are some good ones that are like 20-30 bucks.

Tell her to practice by baking, and get free cookies out of it!

If it's going off for no reason that's means the battery is dying most likely. I had that happen to me a couple years ago. It was 11PM and I lived in a place with high ceilings. Luckily I lived above a deli who used their ladder to take out the battery so it wouldn't go off all night.

Op fyl just cause you can't turn the smoke detector off an even more so cause it caused your cat to attack you hope you can get the smoke detector fixed soon

I really appreciate the literal sense of "add insult to injury" thank you OP. Sorry about the smoke alarm though, I've had the same thing happen to me.

I had one of those once, the trick to shutting it off is to gently place it on the ground and then stomp it until it looks like someone murdered a small robot.

Hey OP real talk make sure it's not a CO detector, CO is odorless and I have a detector that has a non-removable battery.

I feel your pain. One time a snake got in the house and my cat was trying to inspect it, but was freaked by it. I ran to pick her up, because I wasn't sure if it was venomous. When I picked her up she thought she was being attacked from behind and freaked out and scratched me up. She's normally very mellow and sweet.