Intimacy: Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked...

By AntiAxe - 29/11/2010 06:23

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 3 592

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Stinky

By PUE - 23/07/2022 04:00

Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 1 530

Bad guy

By sweetsixteenyay - 25/06/2015 19:16 - United Kingdom - Caerphilly

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 315

You deserved it 6 732

By red - 27/09/2012 11:37 - United States - Portland

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 8 266

By lice - 28/03/2009 13:34 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 425

You deserved it 14 000

By anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:27

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 3 175

By Jennyfromdablock - 31/12/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 36 332

Fairy tale

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 20:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 336

By LennyLemon - 25/08/2016 13:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 012

You deserved it 1 084

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 142

You deserved it 23 978

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 473

kindlystfupls 0

Monday 29 November 2010 12:06

lol how exactly do you know what kind of body wash and shampoo Mr. Office Outcast uses..? kinda curious.. lol

raw_tigahh 2

Monday 29 November 2010 12:09

how close are you to everyone that they can smell you?

Comments

benjammin29 4

Monday 29 November 2010 16:16

lies! you did him!

starberries 0

Monday 29 November 2010 17:39

You shouldn't be able to smell body wash and shampoo that easily. Axe smells disgusting anyway, nobody wants to smell it on you all day. That stuff should be banned.

crankg 3

Monday 29 November 2010 18:28

the poor outcast is the real victim u insensible ****

starberries 0

Monday 29 November 2010 18:33

Well, if he wants to be accepted, he could stop with the boogers. Also, "insensible" doesn't mean what you think it means.

RebelYell14 4

Monday 29 November 2010 20:12

and how is it you know something so personal about the office outcast? just sayin'

davek 36

Monday 29 November 2010 20:18

A likely story. Save it for the judge.

XxdarkangelxX13 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 5:57

don't judge a guy just for being an "outcast" that's mean >:( one of the awsomest guys I've met people thought was weird and scary but really he's just shy lol and he's really sweet and cute to;)