Health: Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother...

By lanikai610 - 26/10/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 384

You deserved it 7 616

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 1 436

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 143

You deserved it 4 663

By no more tp - 17/02/2011 06:22

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 4 358

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 289

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 680

You deserved it 2 410

Always check before

By Anonymous - 19/05/2017 14:00

Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 695

You deserved it 952

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 10:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 388

You deserved it 5 387

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 892

You deserved it 4 909

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 224

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 3 688

NinaTatianna 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:07

Easy fix: take a shower.

Corygerm 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:07

Puffs plus indeed.

Comments

ItsAlan19 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:52

Gotta love grandparents haha

Kryssiee19 0

Friday 28 October 2011 0:13

Hahahaha!

kinda_crazy 0

Friday 28 October 2011 0:46

Fire crotch

scottyspot 11

Friday 28 October 2011 2:12

Reminds me of that Terrence & Phil movie......

yoyolo_fml 3

Friday 28 October 2011 4:27

wonder if thats the equivalant to a ring of fire

annabe11e 0

Friday 28 October 2011 5:11

Hilarious!!!... Sorry to here that.

Pilotchick 8

Friday 28 October 2011 5:15

Smidget, I remember that one ;D

IslandLove 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 0:59

Really? U couldn't smell it

Adam94_fml 0

Friday 4 November 2011 22:06

Well atleast you know your butts super clean

CaineghisMord 2

Tuesday 29 November 2011 7:56

Think of it as a learning experience.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 6 897

Today, my boyfriend was extremely angry. He found a naked photograph of me online that he thought I'd been sending to other guys. It wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 069

You deserved it 1 206

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 214

You deserved it 2 863

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 114

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 470

You deserved it 3 566