Health: Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 1 436

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Same thing different taste

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:01

Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 205

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 289

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 052

You deserved it 32 409

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 3 297

By lanikai610 - 26/10/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 383

You deserved it 7 615

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 294

You deserved it 20 774

Kills 99% of all bacteria

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 22:00

Today, I was so tired this morning when I went to take a dump and instead of using a baby wipe, I used a Lysol wipe. Guess I don’t have Covid up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 378

By troublewithbleach - 06/04/2011 01:52 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 528

You deserved it 11 837

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 446

You deserved it 11 656

lukesick1 12

Thursday 29 March 2018 14:30

Was there no label?

Zekfen 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:26

You should leave the anal bleaching to the professionals at the spa!

Comments

lukesick1 12

Thursday 29 March 2018 14:30

Was there no label?

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Sunday 1 April 2018 15:43

I'm not sure what to say besides hoping that wiping your ass made your family members not notice anything.FYL

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 1 April 2018 15:45

Seriously? You didn't try a tissue?

julfunky 29

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:23

Most people I’ve known don’t have any tissues in the bathroom.

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 1 April 2018 18:45

I have tissues in my bathroom, and paper towels.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:09

Guess you had a HOT night. Alright, I'm on my way outside... No need to show me the way, I can find the door in my own...

thehaystackerine 20

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:14

It's called "reading." Top to bottom, left to right, group words together as a sentence. Take Tylenol for headaches... Midol for cramps.

ThrottleJockey 35

Monday 2 April 2018 15:17

Shut up, Richard.

Zekfen 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:26

You should leave the anal bleaching to the professionals at the spa!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:39

So, you assumed they were baby wipes? We all know what happens when you ASSUME: You make your ASS a molten fireball of stupidity.

wanted_2_want 40

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:57

I bet your ass has never been sparkling clean ever before.

manb91uk 22

Sunday 1 April 2018 17:31

Well, you've got the ring of fire now

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 17:45

You deserve it. There are labels on the packs which indicate they are not baby wipes, but you failed to read it.

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Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 687

You deserved it 9 295

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I agree, your life sucks 16 031

You deserved it 32 187

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I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 661

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I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 157

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I agree, your life sucks 28 874

You deserved it 4 409

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I agree, your life sucks 29 670

You deserved it 3 239

Happy Easter!

Same thing different taste

Ring of fire

Ring of fire

Kills 99% of all bacteria

Shit for brains

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