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I have the same problem with whipped cream and sex and it looks like we're having strawberry shortcake for dessert.
You probably sensitized your system to no longer respond to lavender. Or you're one of the people (like myself) that lavender does the opposite for. If you're using aromatherapy, you need to have a few different options to rotate as not to sensitize your system again. Try vetiver, citrus, basil, just make sure you're safely diluting an essential oils. (And no, I don't work for an essential oil company. I just like aromatherapy.)
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OP, I urge you to see a psychologist or counselor. Obviously anxiety has become a serious issue in your life and that can interfere with the rest of your life. This sounds like it needs professional attention not home remedies and soothing scents. I have a brother who suffers from anxiety attacks and I know that this can be serious.
Are you anxious to try something else ?