By Fml4evr - 22/04/2018 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 242
You deserved it 6 058
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Top comments

jello_bellied_snack_snapper 18

i need to see this youtube video

82 0
waterfalleyes 8

how do you get so drunk that you end up deciding to break up with your boyfriend ?

49 2

Comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Make the best of it, ride the Frederic to work and make softball sized hard boiled egg for breakfast.

5 0
blahblabbity 19

well... just remember it takes about 15 minutes to fry a sunny side up egg. that may come in handy

5 0
zuckerburg 21

15 minutes for a sunny-side egg? Is that make-believe with spirit-animal-wishes to encourage the egg to fry itself? Because if you fry an egg, to have sunny-side up, for 15 minutes, you end up with a piece of rubber if not burned

0 2
jkjorn 16

You're forgetting how large an ostrich egg is. As for that whooshing sound above your head..

3 0
blahblabbity 19

google things before you try to look smart, friend.

1 0
ezrajab 22

Did the ostrich return your drunken love? We need a follow up. Fyl op

4 0
RichardPencil 30

Hey, at least you won’t be the “dumb one” in the couple — as long as you keep the drunkenness to the moderate level at most.

6 1
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

sound like you had a wild night

2 0
RichardPencil 30

I hope your family was supportive that you came out... ...as an ornithophile!

6 0
ThatGuy9679 13

Sounds like you were on something much stronger than booze

3 0