Today while doing anal for the first time I learned that surprise... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 08:15

Today while doing anal for the first time I learned that surprise diarrhea is more slippery than the lube we've been using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 31

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Cars Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Relatable Work Mental health Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

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Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 179

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 226

You deserved it 7 532

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Today, I got home from working abroad for 8 months and opened my post. I'm being taken to court over 3 parking tickets my mum didn't tell me she'd gotten using my car. If we lose, my credit score is affected for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 326

You deserved it 314

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 474

You deserved it 18 084

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 880

You deserved it 8 694

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 023

You deserved it 4 402

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 032

You deserved it 3 482