Miscellaneous: Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 244

You deserved it 2 828

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 2 641

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 370

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 466

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 664

You deserved it 3 328

Woah!

By Mel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 238

You deserved it 13 062

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 135

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 658

We still good?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 113

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 968

You deserved it 3 200

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 05:31 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 444

You deserved it 4 855

Next

Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:53

OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF! OP: Oh, dinners done!

juanaranda1015 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.

Comments

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:40

Stop, drop, and roll

marilyn2012 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:09

Gross :(

elena96 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:20

Same here haha

lacrosseplaya 13

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:45

Same at my house

shrdlu 28

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:48

I've always wanted to write a recipe that says "Cook until smoke detector goes off".

rodster11224 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:38

I could just imagine just sittin there watching tv With ur bros when all of the sudden the fire alarm goes off and u say "looks like the cake is done"

JohhnyKeroscene 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:37

why would i prevent it? a little sizzle doesnt hurt, infact its flavorful *drool* its like beef jerky, but in a verity! :D

proudmom2011 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 12:26

Hey that was our saying growwing up. Dinner isn't ready till the smoke alarm goes off. Haha my mom would forget it

jasonfawcett 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 14:50

its actually a smoke alarm.. the fire alarm has to be manually pulled :P

kodyrsswanson 6

Thursday 2 February 2012 17:58

Dinner bell

1
2
3
4
5
6

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Gross Scary Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Food Money Kids Parents ACAB Family Cops Love Annoying Poopoo peepee Bosses Ironic Work Technology Embarrassing Geek Students School Education My ex Cheating Pregnancy Public freakouts AITA

The Top

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 5 054

Today, I bought a car that literally caught fire seconds after I started the engine. The dealership then fobbed me off, saying I'd driven it off their forecourt (by about 3 yards), so it was entirely my problem, but they still expect my monthly payments to be on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 557

You deserved it 19 964

Today, I have a friend who has consumed almost every known drug in our country, but refuses to get the Covid vaccine, claiming that, "it contains the 5G, and I won't let them control me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 179

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 292

You deserved it 30 826

Still cute though.

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 86

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 719

You deserved it 56 632

Today, I found out that my mother in-law's flight home is canceled, and that she's staying three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 606

You deserved it 4 014