Miscellaneous: Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when... - FML

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 2 824

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 2 638

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 369

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 461

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 3 325

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 962

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 648

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 962

You deserved it 3 200

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 05:31 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 436

You deserved it 4 848

Freeze

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 00:02

Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 95

Next

Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:53

OP's friend: THE FIRE ALARM IS GOING OFF! OP: Oh, dinners done!

juanaranda1015 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Maybe someone in your family should take cooking classes? Doesn't hurt to try. Better luck next time OP.

Comments

Clamcreepy 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:40

Stop, drop, and roll

marilyn2012 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:09

Gross :(

elena96 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:20

Same here haha

lacrosseplaya 13

Thursday 2 February 2012 1:45

Same at my house

shrdlu 28

Thursday 2 February 2012 2:48

I've always wanted to write a recipe that says "Cook until smoke detector goes off".

rodster11224 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 5:38

I could just imagine just sittin there watching tv With ur bros when all of the sudden the fire alarm goes off and u say "looks like the cake is done"

JohhnyKeroscene 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 7:37

why would i prevent it? a little sizzle doesnt hurt, infact its flavorful *drool* its like beef jerky, but in a verity! :D

proudmom2011 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 12:26

Hey that was our saying growwing up. Dinner isn't ready till the smoke alarm goes off. Haha my mom would forget it

jasonfawcett 2

Thursday 2 February 2012 14:50

its actually a smoke alarm.. the fire alarm has to be manually pulled :P

kodyrsswanson 6

Thursday 2 February 2012 17:58

Dinner bell

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The Top

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 646

You deserved it 52 016

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, I was so into my game that I didn't notice my senior-aged cat had emptied his cat bladder onto my leg until I took off my headphones and he jumped off me to go chew on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 843

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 221

You deserved it 9 340

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 60 665

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 347

You deserved it 4 332

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Recently, her mother married a rich guy and they moved in together. Her stepfather pays for everything and she can now go to bars every weekend or travel. Now that she’s “had a taste of the good life” she thinks she can meet someone better. I’m working class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 92