Money: Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming...

By ShowerGirl - 30/04/2013 07:54 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 658

You deserved it 5 705

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Same thing different taste

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 631

You deserved it 48 170

By Username - 13/12/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 4 302

By Anonymous - 18/01/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 455

You deserved it 2 563

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 403

You deserved it 60 598

Right place, wrong person

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 05:01

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 133

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 009

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

Right place, wrong body

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 14:00

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 147

You ain't seen me, right?

By Blueberry - 17/09/2012 02:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 237

You deserved it 2 423

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 461

You deserved it 1 815

jjmiller1001 17

Tuesday 30 April 2013 12:46

atleast they didn't come after you

Not_Impressed13 9

Tuesday 30 April 2013 12:46

Just be glad they didn't take the "I love you" as an invitation..

Comments

limitedition 25

Tuesday 30 April 2013 13:59

Always keep your door locked - and if it was locked get deadbolts or something. So sorry you were robbed but very glad to hear you were unharmed.

pedinhuh 23

Tuesday 30 April 2013 14:08

Just be glad that he did'nt tried to rob your dignity too...

finch01 18

Tuesday 30 April 2013 14:15

take my shi-. i love u

TITUS92 8

Tuesday 30 April 2013 14:23

I guess so!

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Tuesday 30 April 2013 14:29

Believe it or not, robbers BREAK in to stuff. They don't always just walk in

Eivana 37

Tuesday 30 April 2013 15:02

That sucks... But I would have to call you stupid for leaving your door unlocked. Your fiance should have a key.

PoopNuggetLeader 4

Tuesday 30 April 2013 15:25

Smooth Criminal.

01Ben21 10

Tuesday 30 April 2013 15:26

You are lucky the suspect was not there with intent to cause harm.

vegasdragon 7

Tuesday 30 April 2013 15:48

Hmm. Well at least you made him feel welcome if he ever decides on a return visit.

Zebediabolical 39

Tuesday 30 April 2013 16:14

If you hear the slam but not something breaking, it implies the door wasn't locked.

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 259

You deserved it 14 167

The Top

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 006

Today, after three weeks of calling the office and telling them how much she needed it, my mom's doctor finally agreed to give her an oxygen tank. She died last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 92

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 526

You deserved it 64 266

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 2 268

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 005

You deserved it 53 996

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 4 540