Health: Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the...

By thunderthighs644 - 23/11/2011 03:21

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 341

You deserved it 11 875

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Same thing different taste

By i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming - 03/01/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 189

You deserved it 6 396

By FlorenceD - 12/08/2012 04:34 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 466

You deserved it 10 853

By Celluloid - 29/04/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 088

You deserved it 39 881

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 55 063

By Janice - 07/11/2011 05:12 - Canada

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 468

You deserved it 7 940

Ouch

By rnw - 21/07/2016 05:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 106

You deserved it 2 069

No pain, no gain

By Ouch - 21/06/2013 03:06 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 464

You deserved it 7 249

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 289

You deserved it 2 902

That slaps!

By Kelli - 08/04/2020 02:00

Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 964

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 457

Calivale 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 8:27

2 choices! 1)Keep jogging 2) turn the music up!

Moota 9

Wednesday 23 November 2011 8:27

You're jogging those thunder thighs off though, so it's okay OP!

Comments

towelyey 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 10:02

FATTY FATTY BOOMBALATTY! :)

tyghl55 4

Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:03

Haha well I'm glad you're out there jogging and getting rid of that shit

saw92cus 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 4:55

wear basketball shorts when you run! the fabric will stop it

arbutusblossom 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 18:23

Free motivation? :D

dougiemac2014 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 6:13

Id run more but the sound of my thighs scraping together hurts my ears. -chris griffin

tdawg4200 0

Friday 24 February 2012 20:19

FATTY!

dmplayer91 0

Monday 16 July 2012 12:47

Thats ok you can be my new BFAF my big fat ass friend

bgdkmcgee 10

Saturday 6 April 2013 7:02

Well, at least you're jogging....

fuzz97 23

Wednesday 17 April 2013 7:47

THUNDER THIGHS

HAY_JAY2013 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 6:09

Lol that sucks turn up the music so you dont hear that lol that means you legs are getting fat :p

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I got tired of my brother-in-law making disgusting immature misogynistic remarks so I decided to shut him down by boasting that I make twice his annual salary in a month. Now my husband is pissed at me for humiliating his brother, and letting everyone know out-earn them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 195

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 204

You deserved it 52 034

Today, my husband bought me a puppy. When my daughter got home I showed her the puppy, but all she said was, “Eww, I am not cleaning it or walking it.” She’ll make a fantastic mother one day, I’m sure of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 988

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 697

You deserved it 568

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 892

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 530

You deserved it 4 501