Health: Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the...

By thunderthighs644 - 23/11/2011 03:21

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 11 875

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Same thing different taste

By i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming - 03/01/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 6 398

By FlorenceD - 12/08/2012 04:34 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 468

You deserved it 10 856

By Celluloid - 29/04/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 088

You deserved it 39 882

Freaked

By paranoid - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 832

You deserved it 55 448

By Janice - 07/11/2011 05:12 - Canada

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 471

You deserved it 7 942

Ouch

By rnw - 21/07/2016 05:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 108

You deserved it 2 072

No pain, no gain

By Ouch - 21/06/2013 03:06 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 468

You deserved it 7 251

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 297

You deserved it 2 905

That slaps!

By Kelli - 08/04/2020 02:00

Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 966

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 457

Calivale 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 8:27

2 choices! 1)Keep jogging 2) turn the music up!

Moota 9

Wednesday 23 November 2011 8:27

You're jogging those thunder thighs off though, so it's okay OP!

Comments

wobeert 7

Wednesday 23 November 2011 20:37

#101- Lol your thighs are cheering you on! step clap step clap step clap clap clap.

2kj 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 7:02

U stole the other guys joke. Shame

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:28

Keep it up! Way to go! =). OP best FML post all week!

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:33

If your gonna be a slapper, be prepared to get the clapper!

Baytheshark 14

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:40

Ohmygosh... That just made my day...

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 23 November 2011 21:42

Another thought...Perhaps you can lubricate the area of impact? Vaselene or KY jelly seems to be a popular choice. Try to avoid using volatile/combustible substances because the friction could spark & ignite your privates...I hope this helps...