Work: Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to...

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 514

You deserved it 3 845

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Same thing different taste

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 134

You deserved it 3 300

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 055

You deserved it 4 843

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 9 733

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 893

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 637

You deserved it 6 651

By zain - 04/06/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 919

You deserved it 3 689

By getmeoutofthiscountry - 19/07/2013 19:06 - United States

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 151

You deserved it 4 091

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 052

You deserved it 13 973

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 293

You deserved it 3 297

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 753

You deserved it 10 039

AnOriginalName 19

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Tell the parents to sue the little shit who thought it would be funny to shit in the pool. I'm sure you didn't tell him to do that.

Verst 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:00

Hold the little shit responsible. Don't take the hit.

Comments

1tsmenoah 20

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

It's always the FML bosses

ericcrash 13

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:11

I don't think they can sue and win if you have a warning-sign up like most pools I've ever been to.

jimmy_poison 19

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:53

A warning sign saying "don't shit in the pool?" Surely any kid old enough to be in there without direct parental supervision, should be old enough to know better. Not an attack on you, 14. Just a messed up situation

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 26 March 2014 16:37

No but there are almost certainly warnings not to run around the pool because you could slip. I'd like to see the pool company sue the parents of the child who crapped in the pool.

Marley_000 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 23:39

No, they most definitely can't sue for something like that. At least not without ending up in debt themselves via lawyer fees. Good old tort reform. Reducing the number of stupid "I'll sue you," "Not if I sue you first" cases while simultaneously taking away the ability of employees and consumers to sue corporations for actual negligence infractions since 2003.

beaverteaser 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:12

guess shit rolls down hill

ckerane 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:13

and where was the naughty child's parents?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 26 March 2014 1:15

Unfortunately, unless someone witnessed him do it, he and his parents got off the hook. Your boss is being a little shit to blame you for the suits, though

iateapenguin 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:14

Sorry to hear about your crap situation. ;)

Sandsh8rk 36

Wednesday 26 March 2014 11:42

No.

VicRC 7

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:17

so how is it your fault? not like you it's your responsibility to prevent kids from ******** in the pool

orange101 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:18

Well that's a shitty situation

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:33

I'm convinced that people run scripts to comment this phrase on any FML containing the words 'shit' 'crap' 'poo' '#2' 'turd' and 'doody.'

glabberfasted 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:48

I'm starting to think they're bots that comment this, because they all get down thumbed into absolute oblivion and NONE of them ever comment back after.