Love: Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol....

By rugs - 06/08/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 671

You deserved it 5 820

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Same thing different taste

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 284

You deserved it 3 848

Can't stop, won't stop

By Matt8 - 07/12/2012 01:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 436

You deserved it 2 111

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, my son tried my year great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 115

Sweet dude

By no booze blues - 21/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 299

By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 1 957

Hoarders

By juggalo2 - 19/07/2023 12:00

Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 5 249

My precious

By Qoqo - 14/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 04:00

Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 233

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 216

You deserved it 4 359

Emrysa 1

Friday 6 August 2010 12:20

Tell her since she thinks old things are usless, you're going to toss her in the trash if she keeps aging.

sweetdreams999 0

Friday 6 August 2010 12:22

lmao wow you wife must really not be a drinker.

Comments

MRCC_fml 0

Friday 6 August 2010 19:12

Maybe this is your wife way of saying you drink too much

lemonsloth 0

Friday 6 August 2010 19:14

lmfao, this is part of the plot to an episode of corner gas. totally fake.

betty66 3

Friday 6 August 2010 19:19

alcohol doesn't get old!

awilso13 8

Friday 6 August 2010 19:59

My fault, I thought I was only required to write proper in my $750 english class; I didn't know I was receiving college credits for this. Thanks for the heads up.

ttmab7 2

Wednesday 20 March 2013 14:58

*properly

BubbaCatLove 0

Friday 6 August 2010 20:06

Alcohol NEVER goes bad. YDI for marrying the dumbest b**** ever. Good job, OP.

Fantasmo 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 5:48

Wine goes bad

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Sunday 8 August 2010 2:15

and beer skunks.

johnfuknstamos 0

Friday 6 August 2010 20:20

that's a problem tell her to get more on her way home

Elizabeth123654 0

Friday 6 August 2010 20:23

this is so fake! this was on the TV show Corner Gas. Plus, it's a really common joke. You're wife's not stupid, your just naive.

Mylife_is_so_fd 0

Friday 6 August 2010 21:03

quick solution. sell your wife and by yourself a new bottle if it`s a good aged scotch then its worth it

foxy1222 0

Friday 6 August 2010 21:08

your wife Is dumb even I know that's suppose to age and I'm soo not your wifes age.

kh8975 4

Friday 6 August 2010 21:46

boohoo you drunk. why would you be so upset about that when there are so many people in the world that have absolutely nothing. you deserve it for being a heartless, sellfish jerk.