Transportation: Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly...

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 1 953

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Same thing different taste

By snoozlagist - 30/10/2010 04:52 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 10 389

I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

By DontSniffMyHair - 07/07/2021 06:01

Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 277

Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!

By Lor - 09/10/2019 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 172

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 3 108

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 18:15 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 206

You deserved it 3 009

By -.- - 20/09/2013 23:58 - United States - Lakeside

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 560

You deserved it 2 899

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 4 276

I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 711

WTF? FML!

By ricky the sage - 05/10/2013 00:04 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 441

You deserved it 3 380

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 36 414

Psych101 9

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:06

Even if she did think it was pepper spray, why would she scream? It's not like a knife or a gun, you can't hijack a bus with it...

porp1 4

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:20

Later, that lady caused a bomb panic when someone took out a pack of gum, then when a man was eating a banana, she apparently stopped him from shooting himself, and finally, she knocked a knife out of a child eating a popsicle.

Comments

Kiki242 19

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:12

Did you punch him back?

kikimonole 13

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:12

I love how she thought you were going to spray her when she didn't do anything. Huess that's what happens when someone doesn't think before they act. Sorry about the punch, OP.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:30

To be fair, getting sprayed in the eyes with peppermint hurts like hell too.

KML92 5

Friday 24 August 2012 8:37

Seems like you know this from experience doc

shawnaishere 14

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:38

Why would anyone use pepper spray on an old old lady in a bus, wouldn't everyone notice?

perdix 29

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:41

It's West Virginia, oral hygiene is very foreign to them. The old bag would have dropped dead if you whipped out a toothbrush.

NickKuiper 8

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:59

Reminds me of the "Get Smart" airplane scene.

XxKillerStormXx 13

Friday 24 August 2012 0:14

Lolz

FuzzyJack 15

Friday 24 August 2012 0:14

What a paranoid. I wonder what she was thinking. "Let's see what that person is holding in front of their own mouth. Oh my! It must be pepperspray. I might get mugged. Better start screaming!"