Embarrassing and Work: Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my... - FML

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 4 032

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By anon - 15/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 391

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 33 957

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 3 459

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 4 741

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 144

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

By Username - 18/02/2011 09:33

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 018

You deserved it 44 929

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 914

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 2 607

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Next

Top comments

evaki1 12

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:27

Boss: Hello?? Op: ARGHHHHHH HMPHHH

every1luvsboners 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:29

Talking shit to your boss isn't a good way to move up the corporate ladder. Although battle ***** might just do the trick.

Comments

SoSickWithIt 14

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:34

Did your boss enjoy you talking dirty to him?... :D

gabrielbaby 9

Tuesday 18 October 2011 16:03

XDDDDD HAHAHA!!!

saranndipidy 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:36

agh you sunk my battleshit!

JustinComments 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:38

It would have been even more awkward if he had tried to keep the conversation going.

DeviousAngel 13

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:24

Hahaha, "So... What's up?"

Freeze_fml 16

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:39

I think your sales are sinking.

rkmepm 16

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:13

*sales figures are going down the toilet

btnhdude 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 10:27

*blown out of proportion

every1luvsboners 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:41

You were masturbating with your phone? That's amazing. I want to upgrade to a masturbating phone.

You_Need_Soap 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:41

Ask for a raise? I'll see your plop and raise you an ass splash!

afulks78 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:42

Haha did ou talk ?

NinaTatianna 9

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:43

how did you know at the time that you were the one calling? i mean, if you werent looking at your phone, how could you be sure? maybe your boss just took a call... still a little weird to do while on the toilet though...

JustinComments 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:43

Do you honestly think her touching your phone is the problem?

amberskyz 4

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:44

from one asshole to another...

aardvarkish 15

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:37

Now that's better than "shitty situation"

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 2 277

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 218

Today, my anus has given up the ghost. Now if I vomit, have a violent coughing fit, or orgasm too intensely, I will shit myself. Even if I have absolutely no gas or need to go. I'm scared to leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 134

Today, I had to try to explain to my stepsister that it's inappropriate to ask to borrow my mother's wheelchair to dress up 'like a cripple' on Halloween. When I told her my mother would need the chair on Halloween anyway, she suggested we just carry her around for the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 746

You deserved it 227

Today, because my husband wasn’t paying attention, he gave our 6 year-old his Netflix instead of the kid safe settings, so she watched a very gory horror film that has given her nightmares, so I now haven’t slept in 5 nights because of it. My husband face sleeps soundly through her screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 147

Today, I sent my boyfriend a selfie where I used the Snapchat face-swap to put my best friend's face on mine. My boyfriend didn't notice and texted back, 'Wow, so beautiful!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 261

You deserved it 3 306