Embarrassing and Work: Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my... - FML

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 4 032

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Are you OK?

By anon - 15/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 391

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 33 957

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 3 459

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 4 741

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 144

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

By Username - 18/02/2011 09:33

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 018

You deserved it 44 929

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 914

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 2 607

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Next

Top comments

evaki1 12

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:27

Boss: Hello?? Op: ARGHHHHHH HMPHHH

every1luvsboners 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:29

Talking shit to your boss isn't a good way to move up the corporate ladder. Although battle ***** might just do the trick.

Comments

dwcomposer 4

Tuesday 18 October 2011 17:23

Hopefully you had a good laugh about it?...unless your boss is heartless like mine ._.

ajjucool 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 17:38

haha must have been a shitty conversation..

Okayitwasme 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 17:39

Should have made the call seam legit and asked for some butt wipe. lol

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 18 October 2011 18:49

did you say anything?

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 18 October 2011 19:11

Awk.

hoonyer 17

Tuesday 18 October 2011 20:31

Ahh, the akward moment when you're talkin to somebody on the phone, there's a long pause, and when you ask what happened he says he was just squeezing one out -___-

Cheerieful_fml 2

Tuesday 18 October 2011 21:51

How do you butt dial with your pants pulled down?

mserrato 8

Tuesday 18 October 2011 22:22

Awkward...

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 18 October 2011 22:35

Ask for a raise. Fap fap fap.

Adorlee 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 22:41

Did you play battleshits together?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 042

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

The Top

Today, I arse-dialled my ex while drunkenly singing karaoke at a bar. She picked up just in time to hear me belting out a heartfelt rendition of "I Will Survive." I don't think she bought my "pocket dial" excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 235

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 117

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 48

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 6 631

Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 700

You deserved it 4 322

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 7 130