Health: Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my...

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 131

You deserved it 4 155

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Same thing different taste

Drunken NYE antics

By jeffprobs - 01/01/2022 07:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 372

You deserved it 1 981

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 563

You deserved it 26 373

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 378

You deserved it 10 388

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 601

You deserved it 4 400

Ice cold break-up

By Ice cold - 22/11/2012 05:35 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 416

You deserved it 1 772

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 101

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 363

You deserved it 7 910

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 457

You deserved it 96 726

Danger zone

By Agony! Agony! Agony! - 03/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 131

crazylady654 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:17

lol, that sux. dump her :)

infuzi0n 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:21

hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?

Comments

Riemurasia 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 13:00

I know a nice birthdaypresent for her: turning up to her home with a new girl. Seriously, break up with her!

sam175 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 14:40

what a bitch

lifeisabitch43 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 2:01

She is clearly a selfish bitch, dump her.

CuddleBunny02 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 4:13

That is really ridiculous. She should have been concerned about your safety!

sweetalicious 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 11:31

kick her in the boob then dump her.

iBiteRoses 22

Wednesday 19 October 2011 8:28

#149 I lol'd so hard that my drink came out my nose a little.

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Saturday 20 August 2011 6:17

Wow...

bacon4eva 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:31

You should dump her. She is obiviously the selfish one.

bacon4eva 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:31

You should dump her. She is obiviously the selfish one.

BlackCube2 2

Wednesday 11 April 2012 0:34

**** segregation

BlackCube2 2

Wednesday 11 April 2012 0:36

slap a hoe thats whats up

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The Top

Today, I had a job interview at a Holiday Inn. I got there ten minutes early and sat until 1:00 p.m., then told the person at the front desk I was there for my interview. She called the manager, who said that no interviews were scheduled today. I'd gone to the wrong Holiday Inn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 694

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 390

You deserved it 1 713

The Top

Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 988

You deserved it 849

Today, the Australian police woke me up by knocking on my door and yelling my name. I start to panic, imagining the worst: burglars, murder, even drug trafficking. Apparently, I didn’t hear my alarm, so my boss called the cops to come and get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 87

Today, I started six weeks of radiation on my left axillary region. Besides not being able to shave my armpit, I also can’t use lotion of any kind near the area, nor wear deodorant. This wouldn’t be a problem except it’s summer and I live in Southern California. The sweat is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 116

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 588

You deserved it 1 768

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 906

You deserved it 9 157

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 329

You deserved it 81 381