Miscellaneous: Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times....

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 6 776

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Same thing different taste

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 481

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 845

You deserved it 6 933

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 305

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 654

You deserved it 1 030

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 646

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 316

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 4 993

Bekll 31

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:55

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

crablegs 2

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:54

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?

Comments

PrincessPesa 20

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:59

Farting in your new apartment is like christening a new ship with a bottle of champagne. Nothing wrong with that. But if you wanted to keep your farty times private, why was the door open?! And whatever, if she was still standing there and didn't look totally disgusted I'd say you're doing okay, mate.

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:00

So wait, the door was opened while you were vacuuming?

ClosetTroll 10

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:01

It's a good start if she stood there through each and every one of them.

itsgonnahappento 11

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:01

Hopefully shit didn't get too awkward after that...

THExistentialist 13

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:02

BAHAHA! boom shat?! what, OP has R-PeB up in his intestines? (urban dictionary word of the day! yay I got to use it!)

ILike_Dancing123 19

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:03

That awkward moment when a neighbour hears one fart over the hover.

Grimmerie 31

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:19

She was hovering? WHOOOAAAA.

mk58 31

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:05

OP: Ahh, here comes a big one! *atomic bomb* *silence* OP: Uh-oh...

JMichael 25

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:06

When you need a moment, eat a twix

THExistentialist 13

Wednesday 18 April 2012 19:18

hahaha. OP: I know! ill let the rest of my flatulence out while time is frozen, and then when she passes out, ill febreze the room and when she wakes up I can tell her I found her passed out and helped her like a gentlemen... step 5- PROFIT! Hot neighbor : o.o;