Love, Embarrassing and Farts: Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had...

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 316

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 616

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 428

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 921

You deserved it 4 686

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 4 496

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 499

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 639

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 4 361

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 6 776

UnluckyLatina 22

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:21

He probably did it to not embarrass you, he's a keeper.

_kyleG_ 34

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:25

Gotta love a man with an escape plan

Comments

ZelmaSlayer 30

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:21

Well that stinks!

Sandsh8rk 36

Tuesday 5 May 2015 16:53

What a waste of a perfectly good comment opportunity.

Morning_fml 22

Tuesday 5 May 2015 22:48

Damn it, #1. You had ONE job!

nickaa827 13

Tuesday 5 May 2015 22:55

shut your face

UnluckyLatina 22

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:21

He probably did it to not embarrass you, he's a keeper.

legendairy3000 16

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:44

If he wanted to do that then he wouldn't have said anything.

dont_touch_my_ca 8

Tuesday 5 May 2015 17:56

Nope, he probably did it so he wouldn't have to smell farts.

ExtremeEncounter 32

Tuesday 5 May 2015 14:21

Maybe it would be best to try and contain such vile fumes to the inside of a toilet bowl lol

cari_cat 19

Tuesday 5 May 2015 15:48

Toilet bowls are like amplifiers of farts! Bad bad advice!

ExtremeEncounter 32

Tuesday 5 May 2015 16:39

That's why you close the door.

HeartYou101 31

Tuesday 5 May 2015 19:25

#37, believe it or not - Farts can still be heard through a closed, locked door! I think it's because of these 'ears' everyone seems to be on about lately, maybe you should invest in some if you didn't already

YuckyDuckyLucky 17

Tuesday 5 May 2015 20:40

Ehm, did you read the FML? It said house party. Where I come from house parties are extremely loud. The advice you guys are making fun of is the best advice I've seen so far..

Fymlife 14

Tuesday 5 May 2015 20:42

#49 OP said the fart was silent, closing the door would help prevent the smell to escape.

ExtremeEncounter 32

Wednesday 6 May 2015 2:44

#49 Lol did you even read the FML? The problem wasn't the sound it was the smell.

ExtremeEncounter 32

Wednesday 6 May 2015 2:46

#27 I don't think toilet bowls cause farts to smell worse. In fact they don't.

PandaLoverNicole 9

Wednesday 6 May 2015 2:59

She was talking about the sound.

gintwinsmoore 20

Wednesday 6 May 2015 2:59

#75, #27 didn't say they'd smell worse or better, #27 was merely saying that going to a bathroom and sitting on a toilet would contain the smell instead of farting right in the guy's face!