Work: Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin,...

By cazzb - 16/09/2014 04:17 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 3 045

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 29 179

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 656

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

By some band player - 10/03/2014 02:09 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 295

You deserved it 4 617

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 06:52 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 884

You deserved it 3 829

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 4 496

Dancing queen

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - Switzerland

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 104

You deserved it 6 401

superwolf33 15

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

That some talent

PrincessCastiel 27

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:22

He sounds like a great musician. Such potential. Much wow

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 16 September 2014 16:40

As long as it didnt stink up the room. Sometimes loud farts have no smell...but those silent ones make your eyes water.

Zman2017 18

Tuesday 16 September 2014 17:00

At least he didn't fart stairway to heaven

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 16 September 2014 18:20

Butt, "The piper's calling you to join him"

Zebediabolical 39

Tuesday 16 September 2014 18:43

Or Freebird... No one ever plays Freebird. Not even on the asstrumpet apparently.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 16 September 2014 17:10

Shave and a hair cut... Two *****! He could have framed Roger Rabbit

MrsKim04231991 3

Tuesday 16 September 2014 18:30

That's awesome! Lmfao

jland7 2

Tuesday 16 September 2014 19:51

this was a stupid post... really?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 16 September 2014 20:50

Beans are the musical fruit...

DataWog 30

Tuesday 16 September 2014 21:31

I once managed to crack out 'shave and a haircut' with my neck. Krick kri-kri-krick krick, krick-krick!

vikky538 28

Tuesday 16 September 2014 23:17

looks like he does not need any instruments to play music..all in his soul and BODY...

jerichojewels 3

Tuesday 16 September 2014 23:20

Hahaha awesome music geek story

sanuxo_ 22

Tuesday 16 September 2014 23:32

Talented in both ways!

Keywords

Christmas You're fired Work Love AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Health Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Sex Intimacy Lonely Holidays Bosses

The Top

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 731

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I felt so lonely that I was almost jealous of the way Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon playfully express affection for each other on CNN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 235

Today, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree. The excitement didn't last too long because I broke my elbow by tripping over a stick at my graduation dinner. Definitely not intoxicated, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 170

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 057

You deserved it 3 932

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 484

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 2 984

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 1 822

Same thing different taste

Oh no…

Dancing queen

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