Trans women are women

By whoops - 03/10/2020 05:06

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML
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Top comments

Iamthebanzai22 21

Hi. First of all, well done for being accepting and supportive of your son. Some of us are still a little old fashioned but we do try. I wish everyone had parents like that. I am a straight guy but I am currently falling for and starting to date a trans girl. It was quite a shock initially because I have never been attracted to anything other than a naturally born woman. I really questioned my sexuality but then I realized: She is a woman and the fact that she has a penis is actually quite incidental (and possibly temporary anyway). Sometimes the person is more important than the plumbing. You should Google the Kinsey scale, as an old fashioned guy this gave me quite a bit of perspective. Again, well done on being cool with it. I hope she makes him really Happy.

29 2
Maggie Chapman 3

1. Your son can date a trans woman and be straight. Trans women are women. 2. You should never assume. What if you're wrong and you've now created an unnecessary problem between him and his girlfriend?

57 32

Comments

Grizz8831 14

depending on how far into transition it could be easy to see they are trans. it is also possible the son did not notice depending how exposed to trans people they have been growing up (I went to school with a few openly trans people). And i think OP was trying to be supportive, and assumed the son knew about it, which i would say is good since there are still alot of people who would freak out about it... all in all i think OP was trying to be a good parent but should have waited for the son to say something if ever, juuust in case it isn't common knowledge or by chance they had been wrong (some gals look masculine and some dudes feminine,is what It is).

11 0
Nachos4lifs 19

trans women are women. get your 1950s attitude fixed.

9 1
tounces7 27

Well if she really is trans, and she didn't tell him, that's super ****** up of her. That's the kind of thing you should always be up front about when dating someone.

9 2
QueenSaru 28

"Obviously trans" oh so you saw her between-me-down-there? That's the only way you would know. Guess what, some girls have 'harsher' or masculine features. Some guys are super ******* pretty. Next time keep your mouth shut. If she is, she should tell him on her own, and if she isn't, what kind of bag of worms did you just open, "Hey my mom thinks you look like a man." FYSL, OP. And that poor girl's too.

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TinScarecrow 15

Have you ever heard of sexing chickens? At hatching it is incredibly difficult to tell the sex of a chicken, but some people just *know*, almost as if by instinct. It's not a skill you can learn or teach and people with that skill are 95% correct at a glance. As much as you find the concept distasteful some humans have a similar skill. Personally I've never been wrong about a MtF's sex if I'm in the same room as and I hear their voice. FtM is harder, but the only time I ever had trouble the person in question wouldn't speak above a whisper. Some people just know. I think it has a lot to do with hanging out with a ton of drag queens in the mid 90's

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ChibiChibi_fml 27

Uh, Chick Sexing is done by looking for sex specific factors, such as by looking at their secondary sex characteristics or their colorings. It is a skill that can be taught though some people are better than others at picking it up because it involves being able to see very small things like bumps in their cloacas or specific coloring changes. It is not just looking at a chicken and psychically knowing that it is boy or girl the way you seem to be presenting it. They mostly do it, as QueenSaru suggested the OP would need to in the case of their son's partner, by looking at what could be considered the birds version of genitals. Plus Even the various methods they have there is a chance of the sexer being wrong, which was kind of the point QueenSaru was making. 95% accurate still equals a 5% chance of being wrong so again, think of the can of worms opened here if the the girl is not trans and the OP has essentially just gone to her and said "Hey my parent thinks you're a guy".

6 1
TinScarecrow 15

Not even chicken sexers can explain chicken sexing with bumps or coloration. I was wrong on 2 points, though: 1.) It can be taught, but if you're not a natural it literally takes years of constantly sexing chickens and being immediately corrected when you get it wrong, and 2.) Chicken sexers are *98%* correct after looking at a chicken for less than a second. Some people can just instinctivly identify a person's sex. Considering the person in question was most likely either in active puberty or past it many sex characteristics were probably apparent. It's not far fetched or unbelievable that people attempting to *transition* between sexes might be identifiable by characteristics they haven't transitioned yet or are simply unable to transition

0 0
nyoot 9

Jear Desus you guys are being rude. This person is being accepting, I don't understand what they did wrong...

8 3
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15

what if this parent is wrong? it's never okay to assume.

4 4
TinScarecrow 15

It's ok to have a preference, and it's ok for that preference to not include a sexual attraction to transexuals. That being the case it is ok to assume a person is or isn't transexual. I'm straight. If I make the assumption a person is MtF trans that's my business for my preferences. Obviously the parent is accepting, regardless, and making the assumption that your kid's significant other is trans isn't destructive unless you make it destructive...or the partner IS trans and actively not revealing it, which is its own form of destructive. tldr: it's fine to assume if you're not a dick about it

0 0
sarianna 10

"I love and accept you even if you're not straight!" "...I am a guy and brought my girlfriend home, why would you say something like this?" Unspoken: because I think your girlfriend is transgender, and see her as a man, and therefore think you're telling us you're into men. THAT's the problem.

5 4
TinScarecrow 15

OP said 'I love and accept you no matter your *sexual preference*'. That you find a way to make love and acceptance something that offends you just goes to show how far you're willing to go to be offended. Just like being mad if somebody says "Merry Christmas", or being mad bc you think changing Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays is somehow an attack on Christmas. Who flippin gives a rat's ass about this silly trivial insubstancial stuff? just try and love people and stop getting hung up on how other people love. Next you'll be telling me transexual is a slur. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough

0 0
bobsanction 18

Maybe his girlfriend is just really masculine looking. I've met plenty of cis women that could easily pass as dudes. Don't assume genitals unless you see genitals.

6 1
TinScarecrow 15

Assuming is fine. It's kinda a requirement to find your preferences if those preferences are restricted to certain genitalia. Just don't be a dick about those assumptions. OP wasn't

2 1
saraLayne 3

It makes me sad how fast people were to judge OP. They were just trying to be a good parent. For people that don't have this in their every day lives how are they supposed to know to do anything other than just show love and support about that kind of situation. It's sad we have now entered into a world where you can't even support your child's deviations without being called out on supporting them "the wrong" way. OP you're an amazing parent and I'm proud of you.

5 4
John Fox 2

stop being a judgemental terf

3 6
Iamthebanzai22 21

You know, anything taken too far is a bad thing. Toxic feminism is a thing. Toxic masculinity and toxic Christianity and toxic Muslimism are all real. And, as this debate has shown, there can also be such a thing as toxic liberalism. People, not everyone has the same background and ideas as you. One can be accepting in your own way while still having to fight your own prejudices and reservations. If people try and they are good people then you cannot ask any more of them, OK?

3 0
BurnInDemonFire 34

This button is hotter than hell. Shout out to the homie Alan for being anti-TERF! Eat it, Rowling!

5 0
Alan 54

Keep on fighting the good fight!