Family, Drugs and Health: Trippin'

Trippin'

By oxymorons - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 3 270

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Pimp-Daddy - 21/07/2009 14:55 - Canada

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 490

You deserved it 14 152

By MyLifeSucks - 15/04/2013 22:11 - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 997

You deserved it 2 809

By failedparenting - 07/09/2016 16:44 - United States - Bronx

Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 846

You deserved it 1 739

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 566

Jagged Little Pill

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 22:01

Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 901

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 134

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 964

You deserved it 3 203

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 01:30

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 265

By CosmicJoke - 12/08/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 035

You deserved it 5 388

By GLX - 14/06/2017 17:00 - United States - Sand Springs

Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 765

You deserved it 265

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:11

Wow, looks like you could start up a family drug business!

NickCassell 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:11

Can I has some? :D

Comments

Adv3rseFX 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:11

Family of winners

haha_lmfao 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:34

I would be more worried about why your whole family seems to need drugs to be around you ;p

atlanta_lex 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 10:31

Idiot

R4P3DwithALOHA 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 10:49

kick ur childerens asses duh

cinderella10383 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 17:15

Children's as*es

compasseagle89 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:35

oh man, OP's username is awesome!

1badws6 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 11:35

You should just Tell them all you know so they can get high together and not worrie about getting caught anymore

the_cordel 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 12:46

Street pharmisict

galactictoast13 22

Tuesday 6 September 2011 15:43

replace them with laxitives

jerico616 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 16:10

Well, at least you have a family activity that you can all do together!

ryaninreverse 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 20:11

"i learned it from YOU, dad!"

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 563

You deserved it 3 133

Today, I asked the person I love to commit to me. Instead, he packed his shit and moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 438

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said, "OK, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 4 208

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 188

You deserved it 5 450