Health, Poopoo peepee, Weird and Farts: Trumpet solo

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 251

You deserved it 5 553

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Same thing different taste

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 773

You deserved it 3 361

Amen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 109

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 806

You deserved it 6 906

Bathroom break

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 8 257

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 492

You deserved it 5 203

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 299

You deserved it 7 528

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 893

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

marz88 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 23:34

Family Game of battle ***** GO GO!

geesquared 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 23:33

that is really embarassing. XD

Comments

Jeanie821 1

Monday 20 July 2009 3:29

I've been in the OP's shoes, unfortunately. Some people have colitis, or spastic colon, or (in my case) both, and sometimes, despite all of one's best efforts to avoid a flare, well... it happens anyway. And it can be very embarrassing. Oh, and BTW... I thought this was "F my life", not "Let's bash religious people" or "Let's bash atheists".

plexico 3

Monday 20 July 2009 3:37

Maybe your dad prayed that you get explosive diarrhea. Praise the Lord!!

kaleid0scopeEyes 0

Monday 20 July 2009 4:02

i'm glad i'm an atheist so this wont happen to me

littlemuffet 0

Monday 20 July 2009 9:01

HAHAHA.

curryndricegirll 0

Monday 20 July 2009 4:03

YDI for trying to fart where people have to eat. That's disgusting.

curryndricegirll 0

Monday 20 July 2009 4:10

I don't get why everyone assumes that this guy is Christian. Christians aren't the only ones that pray (before a meal).

fmh123 0

Monday 20 July 2009 5:57

LOl the OP sounds like he wants to be cool. Sounds more like a large family dinner lol

lostinediting 0

Monday 20 July 2009 6:07

This is why I always tun the water on. Helps me relax and drowns out noise. So what if everyone knows you're taking a big nasty shit since they can hear the water on? Better than having to hear the all the crap-racket, I say.

Angry_Dad 0

Monday 20 July 2009 6:16

What da eff? What kinda party were you at? 30-40 people standing outside the bathroom? Everybody being quiet so your DAD can PRAY? SO strange!

jme924 0

Monday 20 July 2009 6:42

I feel bad for you. :( I know how much it sucks to have to go to the bathroom and be around a lot of people. It isn't your fault, and the most annoying part is that it happens to everyone! So why be embarrassed? Ugh.