Intimacy: Uh... Okay?

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 031

You deserved it 1 829

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Crude

By Anonymous - 25/01/2016 01:24 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 5 050

Are you experienced?

By ugh - 11/03/2013 11:33 - United States - Easthampton

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 27 047

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 477

You deserved it 6 198

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 345

You deserved it 1 890

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 704

You deserved it 5 175

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 153

You deserved it 4 054

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 561

You deserved it 12 438

By Anonymous - 13/04/2011 10:19 - Australia

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 545

You deserved it 8 125

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 791

Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 427

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 24 July 2018 14:07

At least he isn't homophobic. Your life would be a lot worse.

real life problems 26

Saturday 11 August 2018 6:01

Make sure to use the roommates bed so mom wont smell the gay sex and become suspicious

Comments

Louis Eaves 5

Saturday 11 August 2018 23:07

Sounds like a decent dad😂

DragonMaiden7 15

Sunday 12 August 2018 2:09

I’m happy to see a father with a sense of humor, and one who is still be there for his son, instead of all the usual horrible hate and sadness we usually see when it comes to LGBT+ posts. I know it’s embarrassing and awkward OP, but your father loves you and he’s there for you.