Kids, Scary and Cops: UXB alert!

UXB alert!

By Uncle Victim - 09/10/2023 22:00

Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 106

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Same thing different taste

Assholes, assholes everywhere

By badmombadkids - 24/05/2020 02:00

Today, my nephews decided to play with and break the antique hourglass I bought for my mom. It took months to find and cost nearly $500. When I told my sister, she refused to repay me and responded with, "What do you expect, they’re just little boys!" Her "little boys" are 12 and 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 556

You deserved it 194

Boozed up

By AuntSucka - 08/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep, they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 618

You deserved it 3 693

Reported

By Littlebigben - 19/07/2017 05:00

Today, I found a cellphone. I went through the contacts and called the one listed as "Dad" to inform them I could leave it at a cash register of the store I found it in, or take it to the police station so they could pick it up. They then called the police, insisting I stole it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 676

You deserved it 331

Dig this

By pheonixxe - 01/06/2015 22:45 - United States - Sheridan

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 8 261

By gonebabygone - 27/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 222

You deserved it 9 546

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 188

You deserved it 9 583

By Ilostsomuch - 04/01/2012 18:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 526

You deserved it 3 063

By blah! - 08/12/2013 13:19 - United States - Newington

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 642

You deserved it 4 110

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 20:30

Today, after 3 days of hearing a car alarm going off almost continuously, the city finally came and towed it. Immediately after, the owner showed up with a switchblade, inquiring who called the city. My neighbors ratted me out, despite the fact I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 127

You deserved it 178

By ekaay - 16/01/2018 15:00

Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 048

You deserved it 1 003

sarsuela 29

Tuesday 10 October 2023 9:10

You should have the call to the police in your call history to show your intentions.

whatshername?! 39

Tuesday 10 October 2023 5:50

Sounds like you are Uncle Donald and your Nephews are called Tick, Trick and Track (or whatever is the version in your country).

Comments

whatshername?! 39

Tuesday 10 October 2023 5:50

Sounds like you are Uncle Donald and your Nephews are called Tick, Trick and Track (or whatever is the version in your country).

sarsuela 29

Tuesday 10 October 2023 9:10

You should have the call to the police in your call history to show your intentions.

Samson 1

Tuesday 10 October 2023 11:03

You’re lying. In the time it took you to walk into the house to make a phone call, your nephews (children?) managed to get this item to a pawn shop and get in trouble? Even if the pawn shop was literally next to your house this wouldn’t have happened

Alan 54

Tuesday 10 October 2023 11:21

To be fair (and balanced) this FML was really rewritten (by me) because it seemed to be coming from someone with English as a second language, so I might have missed the nuances with regards to chronology. I'm not sure it all happened "today", it seems more like something that took place over a few days. I could be wrong though!

UsernameNotRandom 10

Tuesday 10 October 2023 13:40

I'm hoping you did report it so then you have proof you didn't want to sell it and was doing the right thing. As for your nephews, they tried to drop you in trouble for their doing wrong, not good family. Tell them off massively then drop them to the kerb and ignore them for a while to get the message across. No presents. No texts. No calls. No nothing. They've treated you terribly and need to understand the consequences.