Work, Awkward and Wanker: Wanker

Wanker

By Anonymous - 30/03/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 550

You deserved it 4 567

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 6 619

Meat

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 130

You deserved it 41 972

By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 931

You deserved it 3 360

Hands-on

By poolgirl789 - 03/09/2013 06:30 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 768

You deserved it 4 753

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 492

You deserved it 6 180

By rochellamaya - 02/09/2011 12:47 - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 324

You deserved it 4 280

By therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 120

You deserved it 2 543

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 368

You deserved it 2 242

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 2 595

By EMTGirl'sLife - 10/02/2015 03:15 - United States - Basking Ridge

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 2 824

altkat 3

Monday 30 March 2009 21:01

At least you have the satisfaction of knowing that creepy old men have the hots for you. Congratulations.

crazy_cat_lady 0

Monday 30 March 2009 21:28

Haha something similar happened to me! I was working for a podiatrist that visits nursing homes, and I had to kneel down on the floor to take off a patient's shoes and socks. I heard the patient breathing harder and harder, so I stood up, afraid that he was having a heart attack or a stroke or something. Then I saw his hard on, and realized he had just been staring down my scrub top. Old men are so perverted!

Comments

brushababyy 0

Monday 8 February 2010 5:52

I'd really like to make love to you too.

tiffyco 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 20:26

all these lil bitches on here calling him a creep and shit you guys need to STFU!!! I work at a nursing home. some of the people there can't help it. shit if I live to be really old I'd deserve to talk anyway I pleased! plus I bet u wldnt b sayin shit like that abt him if he was ur dad or ur grandpa. it'd piss u off. esspecially if u knew that he had an illness and couldn't help it.

Possum_Gurl 13

Monday 18 July 2011 4:55

i agree!! i voulnteer at a nursing home and some ppl just cant help it.. its their deasese.. so ppl sayin that stuff can just STFU..

TheWannabeAuthor 6

Tuesday 28 February 2012 11:13

I'm sorry but being "old" isn't really a valid reason for having absolutely appalling social manners. If that were my father or grandfather not only would it make me want to vomit, but frankly, I'd be ashamed to be related to somebody who speaks to women in such a manner. Surely with things like Alzeimer's (I know that's probably not spelled right) it's your memory that you lose, not your common decency and basic social skills? Poor OP, I really feel for you, I do. There are just some ******* disgusting people out there.

afish25 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 0:40

THAT'S CREEPY!!!!!

Possum_Gurl 13

Sunday 17 July 2011 21:28

um didnt u have to sign a confidentialty(HIPPA) form.. before u could start volunteering..?? cuzz i did and if that nursing home finds out you posted this you will no longer be able to volunteer ?and u could have the law on ur hands..? just sayin..

queen_rosie1994 12

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:09

after this happened, you really think OP would want to go back? i sure wouldn't. and i think the law getting on about this would be a bit much too, but i'm just saying...

bleedingglitter 24

Wednesday 11 February 2015 12:28

I work in nursing homes. HIPPA covers medical information and personal information mostly not sexual harassment.

Sky1K 2

Thursday 21 July 2011 7:42

100th Comment Sky1K

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 26 August 2011 5:16

And you did right? Lol But in honestly I hope you told someone

gman90210 18

Sunday 23 September 2012 6:40

Good for you for helping him relieve himself. You did didn't you? They need sex just like young people!!!

bleedingglitter 24

Wednesday 11 February 2015 12:24

I work in nursing homes. All old men are perverts. They will try to grab you even if their wife is in the room. I just try to stay out of arms reach if they aren't needing actual care.