Intimacy: Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 6 619

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Same thing different taste

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 7 253

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 979

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 8 190

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 116

You deserved it 3 784

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 368

You deserved it 2 242

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 2 595

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 492

You deserved it 6 180

By pussystroker - 19/11/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 4 001

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 8 484

jazzy21 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:13

You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P

AjaxF 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:11

Well, did you help him cross the street?

Comments

AjaxF 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:11

Well, did you help him cross the street?

SpicyDuck 22

Thursday 13 January 2011 2:40

That's so cliche. Why not walk them all the way home?! Why only across the street?

jazzy21 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:13

You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P

Dragons_corner 6

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:35

I would be so ******* mad at you because I could not touch a Japanese clicks **** but I would laugh about it later lol.

SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 13:27

15- racist much?

Dragons_corner 6

Thursday 13 January 2011 12:16

really I was moded. I really did not say something that bad.

macskapingvin 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:15

Should've told him that you'd help him cross the road, but he was on his own if he wanted to go hill-climbing.

jazzy21 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:27

I enjoy your comments xD

dragonaair 5

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:17

Damn perverted old men! There are so many FMLs like this one...

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:50

Once you reach a certain age, you just don't give a shit anymore. That's why perdix is such a menace to society.

perdix 29

Wednesday 12 January 2011 14:22

Ding, ding, ding! FYLDeep, you are absolutely right! 50 points for Gryffindor! Why did the stupid old man ask permission when he has license to do that shit anyways? He should have gone ahead and grabbed them and be prepared for the three outcomes: 1) She likes it. Very rare, but you just never know when a Hugh Hefner moment could happen. 2) She's annoyed but doesn't complain because she knows you'll be dead soon, and why not give you a little joy before you croak, or 3) She yells at you. At that point, you start sobbing and saying, "I'm an old man, I'm confused, I thought you were my late wife, Bertha May, come back from the dead!" I do it all the time, and I'm touching more tit than I ever did when I was young enough to do somethiñg about it.