Miscellaneous: Welcome home!

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked, until the lavender caught on fire, which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 250

You deserved it 11 731

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 76 002

By shitty candles - 01/12/2014 07:30 - United States - Issaquah

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 3 709

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 087

You deserved it 224

By knews - 18/03/2010 04:46 - United States

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 410

You deserved it 8 209

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 29 363

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 204

You deserved it 4 161

Thanks for the memories

By Anonymous - 13/10/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, my mom lit a candle in our living room, telling the family how much she loved it. She then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 3 133

configurator 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:23

And that's why you use lavender *oil* for the scent...

aback 4

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:21

Newspapers make lousy candleholders.

Comments

cookiexcookie 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:44

look on the bright side....they will always remember it, and mabie u guys will be able to look back and laugh at this moment :D

ihatenigs 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:46

lol u must be a ****** huh?

PaulieeBooMN 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:57

@24 no, only white people can make things, not monkeys

ihatenigs 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:00

white people make things the right way and monkeys try to imitate but fail lol

cucumberfabulous 7

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:20

I shouldn't of laughed but I did.... =/

Rakshasa23 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:04

haha retard...you press the flowers and just use the oil...were you seriously that dumb????

letitbe56 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:12

It didn't occur to you that lavender burns? Wow.

Obfuscation 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:19

Nice idea, bad execution

theF22willkillyo 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:21

ydi for whistling while you work.

Starchild21 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:46

win

babyniggurl 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:54

IM SORRY MAN BUTT HON3SLTY YOU YDI B.C YOU TRY TO MAKE LAVENDERR WTH THE CANDLS KK BYE STFUB AND GTFO OF MY LIFE

babyniggurl 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 7:04

PLEASE PLEASE PELASE YDI YOU GOTA BE M0 EDUCATED

babyniggurl 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 7:06

FCVJ

Keywords

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Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

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Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 787

You deserved it 5 273

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 160

Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 175

You deserved it 1 036

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 151

You deserved it 4 518

Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 915

You deserved it 3 098

Welcome home!

Same thing different taste

Thanks for the memories

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