Love: Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had...

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By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 821

You deserved it 29 371

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Same thing different taste

No one will notice

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to straighten her hair while she did her makeup, even though I’ve never straightened hair before. I burned a length of it off, because I had no idea what I was doing. It’s super obvious from the back, but she’s gone out already. I’m a dead man when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 507

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 9 615

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 354

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 816

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 391

You deserved it 23 099

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 5 788

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 295

By TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 834

You deserved it 53 176

By Anonymous - 25/06/2010 16:12 - United States

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 307

You deserved it 40 534

By Burny - 12/10/2017 16:00

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 866

You deserved it 300

Shadow_vamp_503 2

Monday 2 November 2009 8:59

Ouch...painful. Still, it could have been worse. The burn could have been somewhere else...

forgettingsunday 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 1:53

40- thats not even relevant.... and thats potter puppet pals, not chamber of secrets.

Comments

Shadow_vamp_503 2

Monday 2 November 2009 8:59

Ouch...painful. Still, it could have been worse. The burn could have been somewhere else...

lone_wanderer 0

Monday 2 November 2009 20:53

I love you :)

forgettingsunday 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 1:53

40- thats not even relevant.... and thats potter puppet pals, not chamber of secrets.

DumbStruck79 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:00

Best FML ever, your life sucks in so many ways...

stunty_fml 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:18

Exactly. What a depressing, sad and pitiful event has been thrown at your miserable life by cruel, ruthless fate.

Swatme101 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:02

That reaaaly sucks. well, at least you got laid :P

Dazzozo 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:03

Sexy.

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 2 November 2009 9:03

The back and forth shifting of past tense and present tense in this FML irks me.

Austinsnyder601 1

Monday 2 November 2009 9:17

Now you don't have to worry about getting one when your 40...

Crystalyo 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:31

That's hilarious :D

teddyddet 3

Monday 2 November 2009 9:22

Guess at that moment you were feeling "so hot"

blobner_bob 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:23

YDI for being a romantic person

Austinsnyder601 1

Monday 2 November 2009 9:31

What would have been better if a candle fell in and made bubbles, so your gf thought you farted lol

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Monday 2 November 2009 9:32

Talk about getting hot and steamy.

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 919

You deserved it 16 362

Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 422

The Top

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 986

You deserved it 6 417

Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 106

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 215

You deserved it 65 165

Today, I found out I might have been exposed to HPV. So what do I do? End up in the internet self-diagnosis rabbit hole. Now I'm convinced I have something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 777

Today, I drove 4 hours to see a girl I’ve been messaging with for months. Her friends came along for everything. I opted to sleep in my car, and go fishing alone. I didn’t know the river was near a nuclear power plant, so I’m probably sterile now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 410

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 118

You deserved it 1 899