Welcome to Hell

By Riley - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 810
You deserved it 3 821

Top comments

so go into her bedroom late at night while she's sleeping and do the exact same thing! it's foolproof I tell you.

Now every night.. You can sing/blare your evil music. See how she likes that!

Comments

lovely? bitch, you outta yo damn mind

MaskingTape 2

I always sing religious songs when I ********** too.

44, 'ain't that a conflict of interest?

I don't see the FML. I wish my grandma would sing to me! :D that's cute, my grandmas a nun too so she needs to bring out the Jesus carols! (:

mz_booty 0
mz_booty 0

your mum!! that's what he would do!!

SpilltMilk2 0

58, How is your grandmother a nun? Nuns don't have male contact.

Not 100% certain on this, but can't a woman become a nun at any point in her life? So she might've taken her vows after having a child...

SpilltMilk2 0

Thanks for clarification (no sarcasm). I don't wanna sound ignorant about it. All this nuntalk reminds me of Sister Act.

52 your body is a temple and masturbating is a sin, so I don't think Jesus would ever **********.

52 your body is a temple and masturbating is a sin, so I don't think Jesus would ever **********.

eliseaustin9 0

118, well, as long as you're not a tea partier, that's okay with me.

If she's a good singer it would be pleasant. If not, OP can just install a hidden camera in the bathroom and record Grandmother's singing and whack it on YouTube, it would be great.

MaskingTape 2

I always sing religious songs when I ********** too! much props to your grandma for keeping it holy.

purple_love_happ 4

My grandma does that too (x lmao

Yeah, it actually doesn't sound so bad at all. I should probably do that as my morning routine!

RebornProblem 0

No one cares that you would've been first. But you failed anyways, so it doesn't matter.

That's not so bad! At least they're religious songs. :)

Perhaps OP is not religious. And values her sleep. The only thing that's better than watching a sunrise is sleeping through it.

Surely if it's the lack of sleep the OP is concerned about, she could go to bed a bit sooner? Or would be tired enough to fall back to sleep once their gran's finished singing..? Just some thoughts.

well just get ear plugs so she won't have to listen to her grandma singing

iLazy, the Op might have no reason to stay up late either. :P

MyNameIsBruce 0

I agree. I think #3 means she would rather have her grandmother sing religious songs than sing about bitching in a pimped out 64 :D

lakeybalboa 0

i would rather have a rapping grandma, i hate religion.

Yeah, when I was in high school my mom would blast Barry Manilow every Sunday morning around 7am. Not necessarily early (except that I had to work late Saturday nights) but I hated his music. I understand where you're coming from!

gutzz 0

Calm down drew Barrymore, just don't do anything rational like lighting the house on fire.

MyNameIsBruce 0

What the heck 92? Why do you have to spread your hatred here? Do you have to go back 2 preschool and learn that if you can't say something positive don't say it?

106: So people are not allowed to say what they think anymore? Freedom of speech, remember?

lakeybalboa 0

109 How about you go to school and take a science class maybe you'll learn something.

Your disbelief isn't the problem, 125. It's your hate-mongering.

Mimiroxxi 0

120, yes, sometimes its best if people need to keep their opinions to themselves. 106, please stop you're not helping yourself.

125: Science and religion are separate topics entirely. It's like trying to use science to argue ethics. To say one disproved the other is sheer ignorance. Furthermore, stop spreading your hate and intolerance on the Internet. It's like a cancer.

MyNameIsBruce 0

^thank you 125-I didn't even tell you what I believed in. Bet you didn't realize that you intolerant little schmuck. Do I have to be a Christian to want to protect their core values?

Sometimes I start religious topics in some forum just to watch the flamewar. I'm a horrible person :(

125, agreed. religion is a made up filler for the unknown. since it's natural for us to be afraid of the unknown, religions were made to fill in the blanks of why we exist and how all living things appeared on earth. I think Darwin is/was a genius because there's no way a person created everything to perfectly work in cycles like it is today. evolution still occurs. disagree? we wouldn't live long enough to know ourselves. THERE IS ONLY SCIENCE

ghashlycrumbs 8

She's on bonus time, let her be.

Well your grandma seems like a sweet lady. Be happy she is alive!(:

exactly what I was thinking be happy your grandma is alive you prick.

Thats true. some people act more like animals every passing second. Just look at the comments

so go into her bedroom late at night while she's sleeping and do the exact same thing! it's foolproof I tell you.

You gotta take big speakers into her room and play death metal

^ Lol, wake her up to a bit of Rammstein!

Have a good month, it will seem like a year now :D Also, FIRST! Yay, I'm almost never first!

Just give her sleeping pills. She won't be waking up early anymore.

MyNameIsBruce 0

Or just giver her some Charlie sheen. Her face will melt off and her children (or grandchildren) will weep over her exploded body.

liggity 1

nobody can handle Charlie Sheen it's way to powerful

MyNameIsBruce 0

He's smart enough not to try Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen says" don't **** with me" so Chuck Norris wen tstraight to **** his wife.

Oh it's just for a month. Suck it up and wear earplugs.

But you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof.

anakaren_831 1

It's not a purse, it's a satchel.