Embarrassing and Awkward: What are you doing? - FML

What are you doing?

By StopMe - 20/05/2019 12:00

Today, I went to a hobby lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 553

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Same thing different taste

Felt cute, may delete myself later

By Dragon - 04/04/2023 12:00

Today, in an attempt to flirt with a cute guy in art class I barely know, I put on his sweater while he was in the bathroom. He came back just in time to see me spill white paint all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 631

Not respected anymore

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 09:04 - Australia

Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 457

You deserved it 16 353

Kids be shopping

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 15:00

Today, all I heard in B&Q was my daughter laughing hysterically in the next aisle and sure enough, when I ran around, my husband was completely engrossed in some discount item on a shelf, completely ignoring our daughter who had opened a bottle of some sort of oil and painted her whole head in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 164

On eggshells

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 621

By NotSoAnon - 13/08/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 363

You deserved it 5 058

By fuuu. - 19/03/2012 12:39 - Hong Kong

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 2 579

By Bwberry - 29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 244

You deserved it 467

Classic

By thirsty artist - 28/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was working on a painting and went to take a sip of my tea. Instead, I took a swig of paint water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 242

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 545

You deserved it 828

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727

Next

Top comments

Hempseed 26

Monday 20 May 2019 19:28

Where did OP even mention a boyfriend or husband?

evilplatypus 38

Monday 20 May 2019 16:52

I hug everyone (that enjoys hugs) and my other half has never given a flying f.

Comments

Zekfen 17

Monday 20 May 2019 13:40

Do you make a habit of hugging people? How does your husband/boyfriend feel about this? That must have been really hard on the director.

evilplatypus 38

Monday 20 May 2019 16:52

I hug everyone (that enjoys hugs) and my other half has never given a flying f.

Hempseed 26

Monday 20 May 2019 19:28

Where did OP even mention a boyfriend or husband?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 May 2019 16:47

And your daughter went from assistant property manager to the leading role. Slutty stage mom, FTW!

weeping_willow 25

Tuesday 21 May 2019 5:03

My question is, did he jump too?

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The Top

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 45 462

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 688

You deserved it 3 161

The Top

Today, after receiving a message about being hired at a retail store, I went to the orientation for new employees. The trainer seemed perplexed when I told him my name, but he gave me my paperwork and continued with training. At the end of the 8 hour day, he asked to talk to me. I wasn't actually hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 000

You deserved it 2 965

Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 325

Today, I discovered the man I'm in love with, the only person I've found attractive in the past 8 years, has a girlfriend, and has done for almost a year. I feel physically sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 415

Today, I went in for a root canal. After a heavy dose of anesthetic, my tooth still wasn't numb, which I only realized when they started drilling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 1 625

Today, at the age of 21, I've been diagnosed with arthritis in my knees. There goes my volleyball career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 656

You deserved it 406

Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 849