Miscellaneous: What?!

What?!

By needmorelocks - 03/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 138

You deserved it 2 787

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 664

You deserved it 3 051

By daRN - 02/07/2009 19:34 - Bahrain

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 116

You deserved it 3 089

Get out of my way

By toyotasmash - 07/10/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 862

You deserved it 3 554

Leave me out of it

By Marissa Di Stefano - 05/01/2021 17:01

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 209

Domestic

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 15:00

Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 22:24 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 2 017

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

Manipulation 101

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 09:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 153

Demented

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 18:49 - France - Le Rove

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 373

You deserved it 3 164

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 812

You deserved it 389

EvilPotato 14

Tuesday 3 July 2012 12:24

If my sister did that to me I would be seriously scared, don't bail her out OP! let her sit and reflect that that was ****** up.

Katirx 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 12:25

Get her checked out at the psych ward in your hospital. I'm surprised the cops didn't take her straight there.

Comments

Angelrae 5

Wednesday 4 July 2012 7:23

I think she needs help... Like serious help! That's messed up!

dyslexic_jd 10

Wednesday 4 July 2012 7:52

I support you more than you know.

Firuzzy 10

Wednesday 4 July 2012 9:07

Tell her she can shove the bail

dogdud8 3

Wednesday 4 July 2012 9:14

**** that

kyleh34 5

Wednesday 4 July 2012 12:14

Cut yourself off from that family.

snegec 7

Wednesday 4 July 2012 14:00

How about you tell your mother to take it up with the person responsible her daughter grew up into a criminal.

violetwonder 9

Wednesday 4 July 2012 15:49

Sounds like my family. OP - are you the oldest?

twaumat 28

Wednesday 4 July 2012 16:31

hell no!! no bail!

G1ZZY 0

Wednesday 4 July 2012 17:45

Smack her in the face.

Shamepain 3

Wednesday 4 July 2012 18:09

sounds like your sisters life sucks and your mom has dreams.

Keywords

Relatable Clothes Miscellaneous Shoes Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Cheating Love Embarrassing Clumsy Awkward Food Animals First Dates Dating Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 301

You deserved it 4 542

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 939

You deserved it 7 935

The Top

Today, a big crab at the beach got hold of my headphones and wouldn’t let go. Rather than wait and try to tease them free, my husband just grabbed the crab and ripped the claw off its body. The man has no patience or respect for other living things at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 384

Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 784

You deserved it 1 390

Today, my coworker screamed at me for once again calling her by a different coworker's name. They have the same hair, skin color, and body type, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 523

Today, I found out the hard way that if you leave your sheets on the washing line too long, spiders will go and make their new home in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 876

You deserved it 2 106

Today, at work, I quickly bought plane tickets on an iPad. I should have taken my time doing it, because now, thanks to autocorrect, I have two tickets for a girl with the first name of Eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 090

You deserved it 5 535

Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 163