Friends, Drunk and Gross: With friends like these…

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

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Same thing different taste

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 950

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 238

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 585

You deserved it 3 860

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 469

You deserved it 3 174

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 3 182

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 246

You deserved it 43 582

tingting1 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 22:49

oooh yuckk good job on keeping your friend safe though :)

meezer008 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 22:50

u sound like a good friend

Comments

royboh 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:12

Bonus points for if you ever start dating.

st87 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 10:14

next time, sleep WITH her!

TrippingOverAir 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 12:37

At least you did wake up, instead of having to sleep until morning with rotting vomit seeping into your mouth and nostrils. :/ But FYL, OP.

AshleyRose784 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 16:53

if she drank enough for you to take her keys you shouldn't have been sleeping within vomit range. yuck either way

kaykay007 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 18:22

if you knew she was that drunk why did you sleep on the floor right next to your bed and not on the couch or anything???

belladonnafleur 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 18:28

AT least you know you did the right thing! Good for you!

L0VEPiNK07 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 23:26

yay for keeping her keys! boo for being puked on. :( next time sleep on the couch?

IC4M3R0NI 0

Monday 26 October 2009 2:50

A midnight snack, mmmmmm, and you don't even have to get up!!!

PumpkinDog 0

Monday 26 October 2009 6:24

YDI for not getting in bed with her and taking advantage of the situation.

EveryDayJackAss 0

Monday 26 October 2009 6:39

shit, that's just plain nasty, should have raped that bitch for it (jk of course)

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

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Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 4 755

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 557

You deserved it 6 703

Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 77

Today, I built a computer with 8 graphics cards that were really expensive. Yeah, they all blew up except the one that cost half the price of the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 966

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 613

You deserved it 74 080

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 6 233