Love, Sex and Crush: You idiot!

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Wentzville

Today, I delivered a bottle of alcohol to my crush, since I finished her bottle a few nights ago. Turns out, they'd caught my friend and I talking about giving her backshots on their Ring doorbell footage. She brought it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 631

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 873

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 070

You deserved it 49 568

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 844

You deserved it 5 541

By thechimpchapter - 31/12/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 477

You deserved it 7 172

Simp

By Anonymous - 23/06/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 439

You deserved it 39 540

By lonelyguy - 28/11/2009 03:02 - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 828

You deserved it 8 066

By TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 649

By egsrox95 - 01/11/2017 00:30

Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 817

You deserved it 344

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 5 914

By feelsbadman - 12/07/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 898

You deserved it 614

mcsmee 7

Sunday 2 June 2024 21:37

Was she enthusiastic when she brought it up?

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 2 June 2024 22:14

So, she wanted to set a date?

Comments

mcsmee 7

Sunday 2 June 2024 21:37

Was she enthusiastic when she brought it up?

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 2 June 2024 22:14

So, she wanted to set a date?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Health Medication Animals Birds Anger issues Embarrassing Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute Work AITA Parents Intimacy Sex Awkward Frustration Mental health Relatable Technology Annoying Transportation Poopoo peepee Love Am I overreacting? Lonely

The Top

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

Today, my girlfriend was sick for the fourth day in a row. I stopped by her house to check on her and bring some necessities, only to find her ex's truck in the driveway, and the sounds of some very intense love making coming from inside. I guess she's not that sick after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 882

You deserved it 552

The Top

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 892

You deserved it 6 676

Today, I went to use one of the toilets at work, where once again someone had not flushed their poo. I work at an institute for higher education, and this happens on a weekly basis, even during the summer when no students are around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 111

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 829

You deserved it 3 241

Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked why. She replied: "It's easier to pop my pimples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 65

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 201

You deserved it 27 308

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 481

You deserved it 2 793