Poopoo peepee, Gross and Health: You OK in there?

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

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Same thing different taste

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 172

Freeze

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 143

Drugs are bad, mkay ?

By theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 186

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 247

You deserved it 5 553

Keep it down

By Andy - 13/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 4 371

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 104

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 481

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 1 793

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

samiwammy 5

Thursday 10 November 2011 8:55

Trying to redecorate their bathroom?

nick347b 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:01

If someone makes one more shitty joke...

Comments

yodas0da 12

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:09

You need to work on your timing.

CreeperIRL 14

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:09

I hope you remembered to flush!

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:18

When you're reaching for the door, and you shit right on the floor. Diarrhea... Diarrhea...

ragzy 7

Thursday 10 November 2011 15:29

Love it!! Now I can't stop thinking of all those diarrehea (probably misspelled) rhymes!!

DQEight 8

Friday 11 November 2011 2:21

When you're driving in your Chevy and you feel something heavy Diarrhea ... Diarrhea

escadoo 3

Friday 11 November 2011 3:46

Haha!!

Inspired22 11

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:25

I just hope they had cleaning stuff in their bathroom...awkward...

leadman1989 15

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:43

Or yell OCCUPIED!... like a normal person. And it was Indian food too? FYL!!!

madturk93 2

Thursday 10 November 2011 11:44

Racist!

divadro102 16

Thursday 10 November 2011 9:59

The beans were delicious, but now i gotta go. Stomach's rumbling and i feel i'm gonna blow. Run to the bathroom, boy i really made it fast. Look at this toilet paper, i hope it's gonna last. Wipe the seat up, this paper's a waste. Surely i'm fine and there's no haste. Loosen it up and down fall the pants. Next come the boxers, am i hearing chants? There's a jiggle at the door, i wonder who's that. Two seconds pass, there's no one, relax. Shiver up my spine as i hit the cold seat, look around myself, this bathroom's pretty neat. Countdown to the candy drop, wait, is that my uncle's mop? It slips through the door and my face turns white. Away it goes, deep into the night. Flip-flop-plop. First wave of nasuea complete. I take a look at the door and i almost pass out. There's a voice right outside and it asks where's the mouth. Wash is what he said? I really don't care. My body shoots up, almost missed it by a hair. Glad i reached in time to lock the door, but wait, what's this all over the floor? I see beans and corn on the cob as well. Looks like my dinner, how swell.

MwahFMLS 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 10:02

No. Just no

divadro102 16

Thursday 10 November 2011 10:06

You're right.

you_freak 7

Thursday 10 November 2011 14:31

TLDR

yoursucklives 36

Friday 11 November 2011 0:05

i wanted to thumbs you up, but my ipod wouldn't let me...

MwahFMLS 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 10:00

That's a shitty situa-.. Sorry.

jas78cool 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 10:28

Shit...u were in a bad situation...but couldn't u yell or something that please I did not lock the door???? Plz do not come in ???

equalzmusic 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 12:48

thats almost like inviting them to come in..

awagh666 14

Thursday 10 November 2011 11:48

Stop it with the "shitty situation" jokes and let people make some relevant comments. SHITTY SITUATION, OP

BrittMcKayla 8

Thursday 10 November 2011 12:57

I'm assuming you didn't have time to lock the door because you were going to shit yourself, but it happened anyway. Should've just locked the door and spared their bathroom :)