Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Restaurants: Panic! - FML

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Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 499

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 052

You deserved it 1 753

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 749

You deserved it 895

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 700

You deserved it 1 024

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 504

You deserved it 10 829

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 11 871

Bath bomb

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 11:01

Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 957

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 586

You deserved it 4 366

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 879

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 523

You deserved it 1 389

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 093

Next

Top comments

Pink_Turnips 14

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:02

you definitely deserved that... you're in a restaurant, have some manners and take your nasty ass to the restroom

poopface82 19

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:45

YDI for trusting a fart and not getting a to-go box.

Comments

Pink_Turnips 14

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:02

you definitely deserved that... you're in a restaurant, have some manners and take your nasty ass to the restroom

poopface82 19

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:45

YDI for trusting a fart and not getting a to-go box.

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Monday 1 January 2024 1:29

Now I’m imagining someone ******** their pants and finishing their meal because they weren’t mortified enough.

jlc82 10

Monday 1 January 2024 7:16

imagine how everyone else felt not being able to finish their meals cause they had to smell your nasty ass.

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The Top

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there's no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 793

You deserved it 3 099

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 231

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 1 245

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I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 96

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I agree, your life sucks 20 235

You deserved it 2 026

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I agree, your life sucks 23 362

You deserved it 7 697

Today, I received an email from a potential employer with an awesome job opportunity. I was so excited, I immediately went to forward the email to my husband. My email included a lot of "I love you" and "we are going to celebrate tonight ;)". In my excitement, I hit reply instead of forward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 993

You deserved it 1 982

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 611

You deserved it 4 241