Miscellaneous: You tried…

You tried…

By shart up, your puns suck - 01/06/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 778

You deserved it 5 572

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

Left hanging out to dry

By Anonymous - 08/07/2016 18:47

Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 766

You deserved it 14 022

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 647

You deserved it 7 791

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 7 038

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 209

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 535

You deserved it 36 946

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 910

You deserved it 5 278

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 808

You deserved it 71 149

TheCrispyCat 20

Monday 2 June 2014 1:34

Most cases you can't.

mt631 18

Monday 2 June 2014 1:35

She needs to get over herself. You're not a pig for clogging the toilet. Everyone does that sometimes.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 2 June 2014 1:43

It all should pass shit happens

Leo_lady69 3

Monday 2 June 2014 1:47

Walk away mate

buckdharma 37

Monday 2 June 2014 1:54

Keep pulling the handle op. Sooner or later you'll get 3 of something.

Soundslikeothers 15

Monday 2 June 2014 1:56

When your cable goes out you clog your girlfriends toilet. When you clog your girlfriends toilet you try to do the right thing and plunge it. When you plunge it you take too long and she thinks you're jacking off. When she thinks your jacking off she walks in and the smell hits her and she calls you a pig. Don't let your girlfriend call you a pig. ditch cable and get Direct TV.

LexiDaBae 17

Monday 2 June 2014 3:03

Actually, that does sound like a DirecTV commercial though!

vikky538 28

Monday 2 June 2014 3:50

lol...well that's a direct hit...

AlaskanG 27

Monday 2 June 2014 8:17

Why does the cable going out cause you to clog the toilet though?

jerryj 27

Monday 2 June 2014 9:00

#82, you might be overanalyzing just a bit.

joemud 13

Monday 2 June 2014 2:00

Women...

edward80 18

Monday 2 June 2014 2:11

Butt seriously, you should have just left it right there

kasmol 16

Monday 2 June 2014 2:16

You said rectify. How can I top that?

sezzamozzy 9

Monday 2 June 2014 2:21

With most women, men can't win at all. Sucks, I know

MrBoredomioo 18

Monday 2 June 2014 2:34

When you're gonna hit the ball and your trousers start to fall, Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea. When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst, Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea...