Sex and Intimacy: You've tried this before, right? - FML

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 3 808

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Same thing different taste

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 5 523

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 713

You deserved it 15 192

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 582

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 334

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 5 421

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Spicy

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 371

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 6 032

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Spicy

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 365

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 933

You deserved it 10 195

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 269

You deserved it 6 124

Next

Top comments

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

Comments

xbj209 0

Monday 1 February 2010 8:24

I 21st #21

KOsWiFe 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 1:41

i agree with 51!

ihateusersnames 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 3:01

Can't cook with a wet noodle. (:

stephd2010 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:40

I'm a lesbian and even I know that shit don't work...

joeyrocks 0

Monday 5 July 2010 2:37

I agree with 144 same thing with me

SexyTool 0

Monday 26 July 2010 8:48

You all fail. I'm regularly going in at least semi-flaccid, if not completely flaccid. The only other alternative is copious amounts of lube.... which results in almost zero pleasure for ME.

oarisimo 4

Monday 9 August 2010 9:07

wtf?!?!

Frenchface 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 17:39

sad

Courtney_Sanders 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 5:57

If you and your boyfriend are naked, together, about to have sex and he's not even hard.. There's something wrong.

massacreman3000 1

Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:42

its called flacid, dearie.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 332

You deserved it 4 254

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 166

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 42 731

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 619

You deserved it 2 775

Today, I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 1 001

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 773

You deserved it 4 412

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 976

You deserved it 4 515