Zoom off - FML

Zoom off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 07:59

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 867

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 585

Reluctant

By bruised - 15/08/2015 15:47 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 138

You deserved it 1 959

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 40 986

Grind mindset

By failedgamer01 - 30/09/2021 05:00 - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, someone I work with embarrassed me in front of everyone in my job; because I wasn’t doing something the way she liked during our meeting this morning. I ended up crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 211

Broadcast

By suspended - 25/07/2015 00:59 - United States - Englewood

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 197

You deserved it 27 058

By Snails - 12/06/2019 20:00

Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 734

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 3 058

Notification sound

By Anonymous - 09/06/2020 02:00

Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 782

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 632

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 November 2020 9:55

**** leaf blowers and the ******* ******* that use them! They don't pick up leaves -- they just move them around and pollute the air with dried dogshit. **** 'em!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 27 November 2020 11:18

******* hell, Pencil! Watch what you ******* say! There could be kids reading this ******* stuff, and all they'll ******* see is your ******* comment full of "**** this, **** that, **** you", and they'll ******* repeat to their parents who will get really ******* angry about some guy who went on a ******* rant about a ******* leaf blower!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 November 2020 9:55

**** leaf blowers and the ******* ******* that use them! They don't pick up leaves -- they just move them around and pollute the air with dried dogshit. **** 'em!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 27 November 2020 11:18

******* hell, Pencil! Watch what you ******* say! There could be kids reading this ******* stuff, and all they'll ******* see is your ******* comment full of "**** this, **** that, **** you", and they'll ******* repeat to their parents who will get really ******* angry about some guy who went on a ******* rant about a ******* leaf blower!

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Awkward Coworkers Work Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love AITA Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 458

You deserved it 518

The Top

Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 300

You deserved it 218

Today, I, a 29 year-old, healthy female who has never done anal, felt the urge to fart while working on my computer. However, it then felt like I was going to be poop, so did a mini sprint to my bathroom. Unfortunately, my anus let go and I shat myself. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 204

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

Today, my boyfriend’s female "best friend" hates me for absolutely no other reason other than she, "just doesn’t get along with girls." My boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with this, and insists I should just accept it since, "that’s just how she is." Time to throw the whole man away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 269

You deserved it 378

Crushed it! (The bag of groceries, of course.)

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 227

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 295