Sir, may I suggest saying something relevant to the fml? Like abou how this person might be the same one who turned their computer off to get rid of the virus until it got better...

Tell your mom you've been having phone sex and you think you have hearing aids. One more virus is no big deal

Lol it's a CTD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Computer transmitted disease!!! :)

You'd better watch out! Those online pornography sites are a real dangerous breeding ground for 'computer herpies'! If your CPU starts turning red and itching, you might want to get your computer tested!

Tell her about the Trojan virus. Bet she will re-think condoms.

You need to have "the talk" with her ;-).

I call BS on this one.

Just tell her you wore a condom and took the plan B pill.

Don't worry, your hard drive has enough RAM.

No shit for real why else would it be posted...

I thinks she's miiiighty stooopid (in a hill billy red neck accent)

YEA BRO 4 REEL!

75: But their C drive might not be overclocked enough to handle all the BIOS megabits! They'll corrupt their CPU files!

Plan B doesn't work as well on guys, but his mom might still be relieved.

I have totally heard that as a joke before.

#78 Just a comment buddy, keep your shit calm and in your pants

Not everything posted on FML is necessarily true.

Lol

Trojan Anti-Virus? :D

Doesn't work in Arabic but nice idea lol!

The news can be misleading.

You must love like 90% of parents then.

well they do provide a source of amusement =)

Haha just be thankful that your mum hasn't heard of trojan c=

That's a typical Arab mum, they know nothing about technology! (No offense here intended, I'm half Lebanese)

There's a difference between being technologically impaired and being downright stupid.

I dont.

Mother u have computer virus positive

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she knows he'll use gloves next time

@103 I'm sorry, but you have dumb ass positive.

Mom... Hl2.exe...and i.. We... We crashed together..

I'm afraid you have AIDS, I'm very sorry.

....For...?

SassieCat, believe it or not, there was a time when people did not grow up with computers, cell phones, iPods, kindles, etc. Many people have had limited experiences with them and don't know how to work them. When I was 6, I had an etch-a-sketch. Now my six year old niece has a flat screen tv in her room, an iPhone, and an iPod touch. Times change. It doesn't mean OP's mom is uneducated.

Yeah but etch-a-sketch was the shit back in it's time, along with slinky, easybake ovens, furby, and I could go on and on with classic toys that I'm glad to have grown up with.

Why does your 6 year old niece have an iphone? Who does she need to talk to? She is living the life!

5, I accidentally have you a thumbs up cause im using my iPhone and the thumbs are a bit too close together for my liking. Please do not take it as a supportive gesture for your retarded comment.

Or you could shut up idot.

35; SLINKIES WILL NEVER DIEEEEE! I was playing with one the other day. They're the ADD person's best friend. My easy bake oven broke when I was little and the food always made me sick cause it didn't actually cook it -_-

And SassyCat, Maybe you should finish grammar school before you start telling people they need to go back to school. And while you're at it, stay back a couple years so you can learn how not to be so ignorant.

^ grammar school? For what? Her comment was not intelligent, but it was spelled correctly. So please, before trying to be a grammar nazi, learn a little something about grammar yourself.

Her comment was spelled correctly?

Oh noooo she wrote "sayin" instead of "saying". Oh the horror!

GoW_Chick- I actually just hunted down a furby as a Christmas present to myself. I forgot how awesome they were. Back then I didn't notice it had a motion detector in its forehead- cause that wasn't common knowledge. It's fun to go back to childhood. :)

45 - don't worry, I canceled out that thumbs up for you.

Just your information I'm not stupid. I know there hasn't always been technology. But I kind of figured most people would realize that a computer can not give you a virus.

91- perhaps you should learn how to spell my username properly.

100 a grammar school in the uk is a normal school. I think it's the same as American (correct me if I'm wrong) senior year one above freshman year

^ I think you missed the point of my comment...

116 That's not what I was getting at. A comment is usually a series of words combined to make a sentence. You cannot spell a sentence correctly and therefore you can't spell a comment correctly either. You can spell words correctly or incorrectly. Not comments.

177 - If you had looked at SassieCat6's profile, you would notice that she's only 14. I think you've missed the point.

178- oh shut the hell up. The CONTENT of her comment was spelled correctly. Is that better? Seriously? Go take out the stick that's shoved up your ass. And 180- what are you talking about? Who cares how old she is? I never made a comment about her age.

"ohmandapants", you really need to chill out. Grammar school isn't a school for people who can't spell. (not trying to be a smartass, but grammar actually has nothing to do with spelling anyways) It is just a different level of school, like grade school, middle school, and high school, but isn't called the same thing as it is in America. It's like the difference between football and soccer.

Ah I see now. Whoops. I still will not apologize to 178. I do think you have a ******* stick up your ass.

K so those who think I should go to grammar school I'll have you know I'm at the top of my English class. I didn't realize that everyone was so concerned about proper grammar on FML.

Grammar Natzee time: The poster wrote: "Omg maybe your mom should go back to school OP. Just sayin" In correct grammatical form for slang speech, it should have said: "OMG! Maybe your mother should go back to school, OP. Just sayin'!" In correct formal grammatical form, it should have said, "Oh my God! Maybe your mother should consider going back to school, OP. I'm just saying that it'd be a wise idea." You're welcome.

199- That comment was a complete mess, I can't take the content of it seriously. You are either lying or the other students in the class are complete imbeciles. (or it is possible that the teacher doesn't know what the hell he/she is doing.)

Ok amandapants, since you are obviously suffering from chronic bitchitis, I'll break down my comment. First of all, I wasn't insulting you. Why you took it that way I don't know. You made a mistake and I pointed it out. But since you wanna be a bitch about it, your response was wrong too. The WORDS in her comment I what you were going for. If you hate constructive criticism do much then don't act like an idiot.

Also, for you to make such a snarky and bitchy comeback to a simple little correction, I think YOU'RE the one with the stick up your ass.

Thankyou 185 you explained that better than I did :-)

Apparently all of you completely misunderstood my original post, so let me break it down. I figured that in health class you learn what a virus is and how you can get it. I figured that in said class they would teach you that an electronic is not a living thing and therefore cannot give a human a virus. Someone with a virus could transfer their germs onto a computer and then someone else could get the virus from the computer. But a computer or any electronic cannot give some a virus. And what the hell does grammar have to do with any of this? You couldn't find something better to bitch about?

Wouldn't that ve Original Poster instead of Op? :P

*Slides condom over computer mouse. Safety first.

Yes!!! Saftey first!

Sounds like someone needs to use* antivirus* condoms...

If only the mice were called rats..

Your imagination is obviously limited if this is a thing you wonder about.

Your humour is obviously limited if this is the kind of thing you make jokes about.

"mom, I can't go to school today. I seem to have caught the computer virus."

99-ya I got nothing

Always make sure to clear your 'cookies'! Or they'll start to itch.

Hmm Norton? Never heard of that condom brand before.

It's not it's virus protection you idget(:

Norton sucks. "Oh, you want to access this file?" "Yes" "Are you sure?" "yes..." "Are you sure?" "yes dammit" "**** you".

Two of Mr. Norton's relatives, Mr. McAfee and Mr. Kaspersky, also claim they can get the job done. WHAT SAY YOU?!?!? |the kid|

106.... I have that issue with ZoneAlarm mixed with windows 7.... I called Microsoft to find out how to turn it off, they said "We can't give you that information. Why don't you google it?"

Is

Its funny because Microsoft owns bing, and they're basically telling the customer to use Google.*

143 - Right click the icon in your notification area and click shut down zonealarm security (or firewall)