Miscellaneous, Mental health, Spiders and Phobias: Lullaby - FML

Lullaby

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 11

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Same thing different taste

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 12:00

Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 137

They're out to get me

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 16:00

Today, the last 8 spiders found in the house have all been in my bedroom. Not the kitchen, or my sister's room, or our parents' room, or front room, laundry, or garage. Always in my room. I’m the only one in the house scared of spiders. The bastards are haunting me, trying to scare me to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 140

Freak out

By Anonymous - 03/09/2020 19:07 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 126

By terrified - 08/06/2015 03:13 - United States - Union Star

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 265

You deserved it 3 645

Scared to bed

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 12:00

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 428

By farksh - 07/03/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 186

You deserved it 6 286

Spooked

By chrskr13 - 28/07/2023 12:00 - Denmark - Soborg

Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because I saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 791

By Anonim23 - 15/08/2019 20:00

Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 238

Creepy crawlies

By joolsie - 28/02/2010 02:03 - United Kingdom

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 738

You deserved it 7 354

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 923

You deserved it 232

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Friday 4 October 2024 11:16

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Hi gang! Welcome to this week’s illustrated FML! As you will find out, this week we’re all about the lovin’. Summer is just around the corner and layers of clothes are being shed. Admit it, when you’ll come across a cute girl/hot guy in th...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, I met my boyfriend's dad. He was wearing a suit, and talks like Carson the butler from Downton Abbey. At first I thought he was putting on an act, like he was going to yell "Surprise!" at any moment and start acting normally. Nope. That’s actually how he is and it’s weirding me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 587

You deserved it 5 247

Today, after getting her "out-of-office" email, I realized that my coworker is on vacation this week. We're doing our final presentation for a major project on Thursday, and she hasn't finished her part. I guess I won't be sleeping this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 421

You deserved it 315

Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 480

Today, my father is strongly trying to convince me not to have kids because "autism runs strong" in my husband's family, and he’ll be damned if any grandchild of his is subnormal because what would the neighbours think, and he couldn’t invite his colleagues to our family barbecues anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 148

Today, according to my doctors, the car crash I was in has damaged the part of my brain responsible for balance and coordination, which is why no matter if I'm standing, sitting, or lying down, I feel dizzy as fuck. Unless by some miracle my brain can fix itself, this might be a lifelong condition. I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 68

Today, as a final effort to get me to lose weight, my recently deceased father left me $25,000 on his will, which is only to be released to me once I weigh 150 pounds. No exceptions. I'm about to lose my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 531