The Top

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Tactful

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my friend introduced me to her roommate by spouting the usual crap, like, “You guys just had to meet, you have so much in common.” After 20 minutes of very painful, awkward conversation, it was clear the only thing we had in common was being the only two black people in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 95

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 505

Inferiority complex

By jakob the small twink - 22/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 167

Sharing space

By Fingerfqmycupcake - 30/10/2024 08:00 - United States - West Chicago

Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 338

Down and out

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have Covid, caught during a work trip I didn't want to go on, AND my apartment has flooded for the third time since Thanksgiving. My landlord seems to have no intention of fixing the issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 84

Business tip

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found a necklace on Marketplace identical to one my wife lost years ago, so I agreed on a price and drove over to get it for Christmas. There was no necklace and I now know that prostitutes will pretend to sell an item they’re photographed wearing, when in fact they are selling themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 143

Happy New 2024

By HurtsToBreathe - 01/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, it's New Year's Eve. I'd made plans to spend time with my fiancé's family the past week, then my fiancé and I were supposed to drive to my parents place today to celebrate NYE. Unfortunately, this week has been full of sickness. I spent all yesterday bedridden, and now my fiancé is too sick to get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 96

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 128

I told you so

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 68

Thanks, Son!

By Honey Apples - 27/03/2024 05:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my grade school son's teacher came over for a conference. When she sat on our one seater sofa, the upholstery broke, causing her to sink deeper back. My son desperately tried to pull her up and out, while saying to her, "Teacher, NO!!! You have to have a butt as big as my mom's to safely sit in THAT chair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 146

Be unprepared

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 67

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 155

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 09:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, my dad told me that my stomach pain is from a lack of exercise. He knows I've recently had a medical procedure that's known to cause pain in the aftermath, but he dismisses it as a cause. By the way, I can't exercise because of the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 84

Easy mistake

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 436

Road trip

By Rodi - 11/07/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Ugchelen

Today, after we drove to France to go to a jazz festival, we'd arrived in the evening after a 600 km drive, and my wife made a misstep and broke her ankle. The next day we drove back home. After the first toll booth, the electric car window would no longer go up, so we drove with the window open for the remaining 500 km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 100

Archeology

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 67

Dudes rock

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 11:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out my SO is cheating on me. He has been acting weird so I went through his phone and, sure enough, my gut was right. We have a baby and I've been raising his kids. He's wack as hell for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 126

All heil!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my company released its yearly magazine and I was in the background of a picture directing men around the site. It was the worst photograph I’ve ever seen. It managed to make me look like Hitler with an exposed belly, including the moustache and the salute, and I don’t even have a moustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 107

It's never a mannequin

By I heart Kevin from JTL - 20/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, I was watching a crime drama with my parents. During a tense moment, I casually said, "Oh, I know how to hide a body." They both stared at me in horror, and I had to explain that I meant from watching too many true crime videos on YouTube, not from actual experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 356

Fancy a brew?

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a meeting with our shop owner, who I’d never met before. We were in suits but the guy turned up in jeans, a flat cap hat, and the strongest Yorkshire accent I’ve ever encountered. I couldn’t understand a word he said. I couldn’t even tell if he was mad or not, it mostly sounded like swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 118

How do people still get caught out like this?

By Fern - 16/09/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was sat in front of my computer, waiting for a Zoom meeting with my coworkers to start. I started doing interpretive dance arm movements to the jazzy funky hold music. Turns out that the camera wasn’t off, and everyone was silently watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 509

Messy

By ZackAMole - 23/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 66

Congrats!

By Nathalieeeee - 24/09/2024 16:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 5 494

PIVOT!

By D.M - 29/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 72

Cats gonna be cats

By Philomena - 01/10/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

Computer says no

By Chad - 25/10/2024 09:00 - Belgium

Today, I heard back from my dream job! I was declined by the computer system because I didn't include whether I was full-time or part-time. I work in a different department at the same place, and as part of the required documents I had included my pay records showing that I am a full-time employee of 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 87

Dirty business

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 04:00 - Canada - Saint John

Today, while picking up dirty laundry I bolted up so fast that I broke my elbow. I sat in Urgent Care for 4 hours to be put in a sling at the same hospital I work at. I’m now stuck in a sling for who knows how long and it’s all because the towel rack impact was so hard it broke my elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 77

Karma wins again

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 496

Always prepared

By Johnny Scizz - 20/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Bothell

Today, I went to test start my generator because there is a big wind storm coming in (a bomb cyclone according to the news). As I was pull-starting the generator, the rope broke. OK. Went to Home Depot to get a new rope and installed it. I broke the spring assembly installing the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 65

Turned out OK

By Lauren - 24/11/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 59

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Proposal Sports Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 212

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 483

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 155

You deserved it 7 419

Today, my boss told me he'd found my YouTube channel and was very disappointed that in my videos I’m always happy, yet when I’m at work I’m not, so he’d appreciate it if I could seem happier while at work. I work in a soulless office with grey walls, but sure, I’ll work on seeming happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 129

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 805

You deserved it 15 822

Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 152