Stop calling me Surely!

Of course no one is stupid enough to fall for that. What he probably meant to say was that he's pregnant and needs to go on maternity leave. That's a much more valid excuse for a guy like him.

Definitely is a much more valid excuse. I see guys popping out babies everyweek where I live. It's just too mainstream for females to do it nowadays, you see.

#4, that "joke" stopped being funny the minute it was thought up.

#44, I take it you haven't seen the movie Airplane...

Or you can tell him that you can't cover his shift because you will be in a coma as soon as your shift ends.

Explain to him that sitting at home alone in his tightie whities eating beans from a can and singing to his cat can often be mistaken for a "mental coma" but actually maybe he's just one sandwich short of a picnic.

Agreed, should he call to ask because "he's in a coma" just hang up mid-sentence and just bring it up to the manager.

or just say you can't your in a coma as well

I'm pretty sure that he is to late to hang up now.

*insert "r u a wizard" meme* (with regards to the coworker)

How about we don't number 19. That's about as intelligent as your username.

Never go full retard.

The sad thing is, when they beat him into a coma for his stupidity, there will be no one to call and say he won't be coming in.

Forrest Gump reference.

The thing about puns/jokes is that they have to make sense.

I understood it :/

?