AITA

Strewth!

By Relieved of child-creating obligations - 29/02/2024 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my niece will be born in about three months, and I just realized I'm more excited about my mom no longer being on my case about when I'm going to make her a grandma than I am about being an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 104

Terms of service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 1 698

Pick me

By Sarai - 27/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, the man I love chose yet another woman over me. For months and months on end I’ve been trying to make him see that I would make a great girlfriend and life companion, yet he dismisses me and chooses other people. What do they have that I don’t? What do I have to do to be good enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 944

Sentenced

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Orlando

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 29 295

Adulting

By FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 187

Bit my ass

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been many years since I criticised my sister for homeschooling her kids instead of sending them to a normal school. Now all three of her kids are at university in science courses. My two sons graduated high school still struggling to read or spell, and don’t have the grades for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 961

News travels fast

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out I can retire early with a decent pension. My nephew, who I haven't heard from for 10 years, suddenly got in touch to ask how I am and to say how much he has missed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 93

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 14/02/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my husband and kids wait until I’m out of the house before doing fun activities like water fights, board games, Xbox sessions, football, and the like. Apparently I’m such a buzzkill and moody sore loser, they can only have fun without me around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 042

Wild accusation

By Allissa - 13/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, my husband accused me of having an incestuous relationship with my deceased father, all because we haven’t had sex in months due to my grieving. According to him, no one grieves that hard for someone unless they were in love or fucking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 144

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 142

Help wanted

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I fought with my sister. We're both adults, but I cussed her out and called her an idiot or something, and a bitch. I’m trying my best to get therapy for this shit. I have found nothing that helps me quit acting this way. I grew up with it in my parents' behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 438

The devil is in the details

By Sad dad - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I went to court to get custody of my son from my ex. I was denied because I spelled his name wrong on the court filing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 071

Effed around, found out

By Ryan - 06/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 2 158

You sure it was the first letter?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, after I got dumped a few months ago, I wrote a love letter to win her back. Romantic, right? She didn't think so. She called the cops. Now I may lose my job and my pension, and have to start life over at 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 608

Trust

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife revealed to me that the doctor at the fertility clinic where we stored embryos is her ex-boyfriend. She’s now furious that I don’t trust that our freezer babies are mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 327

Been there, done that

By hlewrn - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 116

You deserved it 34 853

Lunatics out here

By fuck your rights - 02/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, when I tried to go to work, there were gun nuts blocking the road near my apartment, protesting something or other. I called the cops to break it up, only to be told, "We can't do anything because they have rights." Don't I have the right to not be terrorized by lunatics? FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 345

Sorry mate, I didn't know

By Baboosh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 622

You deserved it 14 143

Dodgy CV

By lordoftheweird - 31/01/2024 00:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, a former employee is claiming he was fired because of his race. He was fired for not telling us he's a special needs adult who flunked out of school in the fourth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 140

The really significant other

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 08:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my childhood best friend and I just rekindled. He has literally known me since the day I was born. We spent all of our time together, baths, playing, all of it. We've always been connected. However, in high school, we ran from each other. Now, we found out we love one another but we’re in marriages. I would give up my SO for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 736

Cough up, loser

By Kushi - 30/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in rush hour traffic and rushed to the daycare to pick my daughter up. They charged me a late fee for being one minute late. ONE minute. When I protested, the lady said she was gonna scream and call the police if I didn’t pay. It was my last $100 before next payday… next Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 175

No kinkshaming

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife told me she doesn’t understand why I’m uncomfortable with her being the moderator of “Sex Talk” forum, the top pinned message board of which is “Adultery Cuckolding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 178

You guys suck

By fishbearpig - 18/01/2024 23:00 - Romania - Cluj-Napoca

Today, I had to give a presentation on how we can improve our department metrics to a group of dumb executives who keep confusing and mixing up IT departments. Our department is doing great, the problem is that the executives keep mixing up the departments and blame us for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 68

Superheroes Finger Family Song Johny Johny Yes Papa Nursery Rhymes Giant Syringe

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 511

Manipulation 101

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 09:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 153

How did you end up here?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 19:00 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I learned it’s apparently a “red flag” that I, at 27, do not have any social media, get my news from the local station, watch “regular” tv (non-streamed/not YouTube), and only use the internet for research or occasional online shopping. I just prefer real life. Is that so odd? FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 189

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 18:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I'm thoroughly convinced that my ex is lying about being in new relationships so she can burrow her way into my head/get my attention. Only problem is, we're in the same social circle, and if I call her on it, I'll look like a jealous idiot and my friends won't back me up. I just want these games to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 522

Consent

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 191

Self report

By Criminy - 04/01/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I went on yet another date with this beautiful young lady from my job. I can’t help but feel bad because ever since my wife gave birth to our kid she’s been sluggish and puffy, and I’m not attracted to her anymore, but I don’t know how to leave her because my son would be without a father. I hate this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 2 462

Accident waiting to happen

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 21:00

Today, after my husband bought our son a sword for Xmas, sure enough, I found a stab mark in my living room wallpaper, and the sword now has a bent tip. My son denies everything and my husband claims I’m overreacting by yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 210

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, the guy I was seeing told me he only wants to be friends. Every guy I've dated in the last 10 years has lost interest after we've had sex for the first time, and nobody will tell me why or what I did wrong. I'm going to die alone and I don't even know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 196

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 349

The Top

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 134

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 831

You deserved it 3 592

Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 509

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 740

You deserved it 6 674

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 353

You deserved it 8 189

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said, "You're a fucking idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 556

You deserved it 22 754