Break-ups

Hypocrisy

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, my sister's boyfriend dumped her after a huge fight they had, regarding him getting a haircut without talking to her first. I asked if she also needed to consult with him first before getting a haircut. Without a hint of self-awareness, she said, "Of course not. That's stupid. Why would I need his permission?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 168

I'm outta here

By VHgolf1989 - 01/06/2022 02:00

Today, I found out that after moving in with my mother and her boyfriend into his place two months ago, she's breaking up with him, and leaving me stuck with him. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 138

Face the facts

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I called off my engagement with my now ex-girlfriend. Yesterday, while drunk at a get-together with all our friends, she admitted she's still in love with her best friend, and only went out with me to forget about him, but is still pining for him anyway. She doesn't understand why that factoid might upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 132

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I delivered some bad news to my girlfriend, and she broke up with me. By the way, Coca-Cola is discontinuing Honest Tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 101

A huge mess of stuff

By GreatWeek - 30/05/2022 17:01 - United States - Dighton

Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 112

Next time, text me instead

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 06:00

Today, I drove 120 miles to spend a few days with my girlfriend. Less than 12 hours into my stay, she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 156

I never thought this happened in real life

By Keith - 19/05/2022 10:00

Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 296

Hello goodbye

By tipsyone - 16/05/2022 21:59 - Sweden - Katrineholm

Today, just as I was starting to get better with my depression through medication and therapy, my partner decided we needed to break up. He's been completely unsupportive and hasn’t cared. I’m just sad that this worsens my depression more than missing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 167

Quality alone time

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 23:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I are renovating his mother's house. We have some yard work to do this weekend there, where he jokingly referred to it as, “quality alone time.” To that, my smartass response was, “Quality alone time? Is your mother gonna be there?” He blew a fuse and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 324

There must be other reasons

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 00:01

Today, my wife is leaving me because I don’t satisfy her sexually. Chance would be a fine thing, every time I get romantic, all I get is, "I have a headache", "I think my period's coming", “Is sex all you think about?”, “What if the neighbours hear us?”, and my all time favourite, “Ew, not a chance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 265

You deserved it 301

Either/Or

By Confused - 09/05/2022 14:00

Today, my long distance girlfriend finally responded to me, after a week of silence. Unfortunately, the response was to block me. I'm pretty sure she has found someone else, but doesn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 135

Play it safe

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 08:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my girlfriend of three years dumped me because my refusal to go out drinking or get wasted at parties with her makes me "too boring". Thing is, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm over one year sober and I don't want to risk relapsing again, yet she expects me to choose between my health and her idea of fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 169

TLC FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 22:00

Today, the person I was seeing dumped me over text because I “cared too much” and it gave them anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 129

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 15:00 - Ireland

Today, as I was excited to celebrate our second anniversary, I paid for my girlfriend's three hour trip down and dinner, only for her to come over, break up with me, and then leave. Her Instagram story later read, "Don't let anything spoil your mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 100

**** ICE

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 10:00

Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 241

The faith of acceptance

By Lesbo88 - 28/03/2022 16:00

Today, I sadly had to tell my fiancé of 3 years that I realized I’m a lesbian and not really attracted to men, and therefore I called off the wedding. He decided to retaliate and out me to my very Christian parents, who are unhappy campers right now. “Unhappy” is an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 1 322

Too much pressure

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 547

Hate the player, hate the game

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 16:00

Today, my husband left me for the whore he cheated on me with four years ago. I forgave him and took him back then. I guess I deserved this for being stupid and trusting him once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 550

What a coincidence

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 389

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 90

Scene from a movie

By Mel - 06/03/2022 00:01

Today, I'm crying in an Uber because my significant other just broke up with me. I'm crying quietly but there's no way the driver hasn't noticed at this point. I'm OK with him not saying anything, but he also hasn't changed the music. All that's playing is Pink, and not the loud, girl-power songs, but the sad, slow ones about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 214

Gamers CAN have a love life

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 10:00

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I was having an affair in The Elder Scrolls Online. While ranting to my online elf husband, he got upset that I had a real life boyfriend and dumped me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 855

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 24/02/2022 02:01

Today, I found out that a girl I had been seeing for two months used her having a brain tumor as an excuse to break up with me. She said she wouldn’t feel good for three months because of treatment, but then a month into "treatment", she posted a picture on a date with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 135

High expectations

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 02:01

Today, I got broken up with by a professional clown who lives with his elderly parents and doesn’t have a car. This is definitely a low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 378

Weird excuse

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he only now decided to look up what it meant. He gave me a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 668

You deserved it 17 988

Priorities

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 17:59

Today, despite a car accident, lockdowns, and the stress of dealing with an elderly parent, I have been so happy planning a vacay with my amazing boyfriend. I woke up to being dumped because he feels he needs to prioritize his time between his kid and work. Immediately after, he popped up as active online in a game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 184

Make up your mind

By WhatKindOfZoneIsThis - 05/02/2022 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my crush told me that she has zero desire to pursue a romantic relationship with me, and has only ever seen me as a friend. That would've been fine if we hadn't been seeing each other for almost a year, and passionately made out a couple of nights ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 212

Young?

By HealthKicked - 28/01/2022 23:01

Today, it was my first day alone with the kids since my separation. Knowing how my ex is a health nut, I made a super healthy dinner for the kids. When she collected them afterwards, she said that if I had cooked like that when we were together, she wouldn’t have fucked Angus. Who the hell is Angus? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 216

Sussy baka

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 04:59

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I get along with her mother just fine. Apparently, it’s not natural for a son-in-law and mother-in-law to get along this well, we should hate each other on principle, so liking each other just fine is somehow majorly suspicious and she can’t trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 121

Civil war

By Anonymous - 20/01/2022 20:01

Today, while still desperately trying to be civil to my ex for the sake of our kids, I went round to his flat and found him passed out drunk with his air pistol on the floor. He’d been using pictures of me as targets. I think "civil" might be a hopeless goal at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 175

Keywords

Party Lonely Awkward Love Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 185

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 4 940

The Top

Today, I went to a music festival in an area where the weather is practically sunny all year round, but for this special occasion it rained the whole time, turning the venue into a giant mud pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 149

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 967

You deserved it 712

Today, my favorite panty liners are anything a girl could need: Very thin and breathable, yet watertight, and the shape fits anything from granny panties to thongs. Two different brands offer such a thing, and naturally this is the very product that they both decided to discontinue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 89

Today, I drove my friends two hours to see a tourist attraction I had been talking up for months. It burnt to the ground last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 753

You deserved it 2 329

Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 882

You deserved it 56 886

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 601

You deserved it 6 738