Delivery

When the going gets tough…

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 04:00

Today, I ordered in a kebab and decided to play Billy Ocean on full blast as I waited. The delivery driver reached the lobby, and as I run down, I left my keys behind. So here I am, eating a kebab, outside my house, whilst "Love Really Hurts Without You" plays on the other end of the door. The person with the keys comes in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 810

Don't call me Karen

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was so tired that I thought the item I'd ordered a few months ago had been delivered then stolen, so I emailed the company about it. When I checked back on the website, I realized it hadn't actually been delivered yet and I read the invoice wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 490

Door dashed

By vibexeno - 31/01/2022 11:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, I opened my front door to see that someone else's McDonald's was delivered to me overnight, but the food was all moldy. The one time I get free food… FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 168

Christmas gifts

By not a thief - 24/12/2021 01:59

Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 141

Where's my shit?

By Taurus_ChicKa - 15/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a package has been sitting at the post office for two weeks, with a status update of "Arriving Late." I've finally been told the package is most likely lost in a sorting bin, and won't arrive before Christmas. It was a custom-made, commissioned Christmas gift, that took two months to even complete, and can't be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 87

The nerve!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 20:01

Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 83

News to me

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 14:01

Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 187

Addicted to the anticipation

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 07:59 - United States - Verona

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, I had to hear my housemate complain about an order being delayed. The last couple of orders took two months to arrive, and she decided to order yet again from that company, so she checks daily and I have to hear about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 138

Gotta get that delivery dopamine rush

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 05:00

Today, I've been waiting two months for eight eBay purchases to make it through my country's fucked up customs fiasco. I'm reduced to vicariously sharing in my husband's delivery of a litre of industrial vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 135

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 76

Thief!

By mystery - 19/09/2021 05:00

Today, my mom blocked me on everything, kicked me out of her house, and declared that I'm "dead to her." Why? She ordered a package, but it never came. I’m still trying to process how that could possibly be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 71

Timing is key

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 08:04

Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 125

Banana bread?

By Sarah - 11/09/2021 05:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I ordered 3 bananas on Instacart, but actually received 3 overripe bunches of bananas. I don’t know what to do with 18 bananas before they all rot by tomorrow night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 219

Amazon Prime

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was expecting two packages containing tools, but only one arrived. Interestingly, it was NOT the one where I had paid extra – for the first time ever – to guarantee delivery today. Now I have a set of bits and no ratchet to turn them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 105

Mix up

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 08:01

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 798

Home delivery

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 08:01

Today, I received two letters: an eviction notice and a Dear John. Neither went through the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 91

Dashed

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 00:01

Today, my Doordash driver texted me to let me know my son had picked up the food I'd ordered. I don't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 72

I'm normal, I swear

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 18:01

Today, I was doing weird voice impressions for my friend right before the doorbell rang and I had the front window open. The postman looked at me strangely, handed me my parcel and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 239

Messy situation

By Steven Haga - 23/04/2021 04:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I ordered some food and included a slice of cheesecake. However, I think they glued the Tupperware lid together and I didn't actually want to launch the cheesecake into the air when I finally got it open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 130

Eyebleach

By Lexxxiii - 22/12/2020 23:02

Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 152

Get it out!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 09:01 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I paid movers $125 to move a couch into my house that's much too large for the space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 043

Small town blues

By Alyxandrea - 25/05/2020 23:00

Today, our town is so bored that the most entertainment we got was on the local buy and sell trade page, where someone posted that they got someone else's package in the mail, and everyone in town spent 6 hours trying to guess what was in the box. It was actually the highlight of most of our day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 207

Amazon addict

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 196

Innocent

By Boyufd - 19/01/2019 12:00

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 139

That one Dire Straits song

By HBCRUISER - 18/09/2018 12:00

Today, I had to go to the local UPS store to sign for a package with providing I.D. shipped to me. I had no idea who had sent the package. After signing for the package, I opened it and saw that I had signed for an empty package. I actually paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 301

Where's my shit?

By Still No Phone - 21/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I checked for the third time this week if my package that 'arrived' five days ago had been found. Not only was it a different employee at the concierge desk, meaning I had to explain everything again, but they told me the same bullshit about how it's "not their fault". The package is my new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 765

You deserved it 324

Geeking out

By Anonymous - 20/01/2017 09:25

Today, I finally received my new computer in the mail. I was so excited, I kissed the box. The truck driver definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 054

You deserved it 2 262

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 4 216

Gimme my stuff

By siciliano12594 - 12/11/2012 18:40 - United States - Harrison

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 150

You deserved it 1 957

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Username - 25/10/2010 11:03 - France

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 297

You deserved it 6 625

Keywords

Miscellaneous Gross Insects Kids Cute Neighbours Love Proposal Awkward Health Hair Delivery Amazon Relatable Scary Allergies Dogs Animals Babysitter Skincare Emergency Doctor Hospital AITA Vacation Engagement ring Facebook Social Media Scams Money

The Top

Today, I called out "for personal reasons" from work because I had to study for a major test that's taking place tomorrow. An hour later, my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously." I then got an email telling me that the test was being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 4 092

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard, "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 913

You deserved it 2 819

The Top

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 970

You deserved it 1 693

Today, I've counted the unanswered 29 emails and 91 calls I've made to the university. The accountant at my company submitted the wrong reference number when doing the payment to the university, and now I cannot register for the course. Every time I get a response, I'm asked for info already provided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 85

Today, we found out that my 13-year-old cousin is pregnant. My mom then turned to me and asked why I decided to wait so long. I’m only 20. Instead of being worried that this young girl has potentially ruined her entire life, my mom just complained that her sister "gets to be a grandma first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 153

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 753

You deserved it 56 776

Today, my fiancé “thought he should let me know” that he has a 3 year-old son. We’ve been together for 7 years and our wedding is this weekend. He says it’s no big deal, because, “It was just a one-night stand and she has a new man now.” He doesn’t get why I’m angry and calling off our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 504

You deserved it 140

Today, lots of guys my age are confident and in the best shape of their life. I've been working out since high-school. However, since I turned 20, my body has become increasingly injury prone on my joints and tendons from wear and tear. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down and I'm only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 86