Friends

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 155

Single life

By AnonThoughts - 19/09/2021 17:00

Today, I'm single again, after my now ex attacked my best friend out of jealousy, forcing me to choose between 25 years of friendship and 3 months of a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 125

Weird logic

By kat - 30/12/2023 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I told my guy friend to not put pictures of me on his story when we hang out, to which he replied, “You rejected me, but you continue to ask about my friends. For some reason you refuse to help me out with yours. At least some other girl I know will think I’m a catch for hanging with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 966

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 239

You or the both of you?

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 218

Can't have friends

By Owie - 12/01/2022 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were taking a stroll when I was mugged at knife point. My boyfriend did nothing and just stood there while the mugger took my purse and cellphone. His reason? The other day, I'd "disrespected" him by “texting another guy.” I’d texted the guy, “Happy birthday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 326

Scientists in disguise

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 14:00

Today, I lost a second friend to QAnon conspiracy theories. Worst yet, he started messaging everyone I know on Facebook, telling them I'm a hypocrite who doesn’t “do his research.” Those who don’t now think he was my gay lover believe we were lab partners. What do I do with that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 212

Age of approval

By henry - 23/12/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, the 18-now-19 year-old girl who originally lead me on, ended things, then made a show of our four year age difference to the people she knew is now happily dating a 27 year-old. Her parents approve. I’m now known as a creep and lost many friends over this, but she just gets to move on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 266

Late start

By Rachel - 18/05/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 813

You deserved it 5 351

Uncomfortable encounter

By Klo - 12/11/2023 16:00

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 289

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 94

Party animal

By stupid friendless loser - 29/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I slipped out my bedroom window at night in an attempt to rebel against my parents. Then I realized that I have no friends and nowhere to go, so I tried to climb back in. I fell, broke my ankle, and laid in the dirt until my parents found me in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 688

By ugh - 15/07/2013 11:46 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 794

You deserved it 9 148

Alexa, play "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell

By Anonymous - 12/08/2023 22:00

Today, one of my best friends and I both got mail. She got her wedding invites to send out; I got my divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 132

What have you done now?

By Finn - 24/03/2022 03:00 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I ruined a 4-year long friendship over something stupid, and I'm now being ghosted. I tried to fix it several times, but she doesn't care anymore I don't think. Imagine being the antagonist in your own story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 996

Like a house on fire

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 22:00

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 295

By playdated - 06/06/2014 06:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years-old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 734

You deserved it 8 893

You must conform

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 13:00

Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 274

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 267

New saying just dropped

By Evan - 10/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 218

Date night

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about first generation Pokémon ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 319

You deserved it 5 936

Get better standards

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 10:00

Today, I realized just how bitchy my BFF really is. When my sister said hi to her, she just glared back. She refers to a trans woman as "it" and not her correct pronouns. She just sucks the fun out of everything and makes me feel alone and stuck. I can't abandon her though because we're both each other's only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 1 109

Brief encounter

By Angry Orphan - 09/09/2022 15:29

Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 171

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 10:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 815

Gratitude walks

By wasted money - 30/11/2022 16:00 - Australia

Today, I generously paid for my best friend to go to an event she's wanted to see her whole life. Instead of thanking me, she brought her children and made me pay for them too, complained that I hadn't chosen the seats she wanted, then blamed me when she got on the wrong train back to her hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 201

Get up, stand up!

By Can't win - 12/08/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, since I've been told (and am well aware) that I'm too nice, I've been trying to become more assertive. The only trouble is that I find it to be almost impossible, especially because my friends are always asking what my problem is when I stand up for myself. Isn't this what you wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 91

Feeling betrayed

By Dayanna - 19/03/2023 00:00

Today, my best friend refuses to attend my wedding, all because I’m marrying her ex. He left her for me but didn’t cheat. We just fell in love and he had the decency to leave the relationship before starting to date me. She refuses to understand that no matter how hard I try to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 4 540

OBEY

By Nope! - 27/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband told me that I’m no longer “allowed” to see my best friend of 27 years. He’s worked up in his mind that she’s going to try to convince me to cheat on him because she’s single. She literally introduced us and was the maid of honor at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 100

Is it just me or…?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Hornsey

Today, after I ghosted a good friend for 6 months due to mental health issues/dropping out/other life changes, it's been a week since I got back in contact, and I think she hates me now. I stalk her on social media sometimes on my laptop and she made a playlist called "What the F*** are you doing?" like 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 703

She'll come around

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 22:05

Today, my only friend confessed she loved me, but I’m not a lesbian so I had to let her down. Apparently she thought I was a lesbian too, so she ran away mortified. I just got a text that she can’t see me anymore, because it’s too painful. I have no relatives and now no friends. I’m totally alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 148

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 481

You deserved it 11 505

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 968

The Top

Today, I took a day off from work for a doctor's appointment. It ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, because while I was on my way, my mom called to inform me that my great aunt passed away this morning. As a result, I showed up extremely late and was berated. And the worst part? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 172

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 443

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 110

You deserved it 38 901

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 891

You deserved it 5 871

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 34

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 965

You deserved it 10 100