Jealousy

Dingus

By UnemployedWife - 26/01/2024 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my husband typed in my work Teams Chat, “FUCK THIS JOB I QUIT” while I was away from my desk. All this because he’s still jealous of my and a male coworker’s friendship. I was terminated. He showed no remorse for what he did and told me to find another job where I won’t “slut around.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 263

Kiss me

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 18:00 - United States - Wolfeboro

Today, my boyfriend refused to give me a kiss because he thinks I flirt with his cousin. I make small talk with him because my boyfriend is always leaving me alone with said cousin. I’m not attracted to him in the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 104

Lower your expectations

By AchievementUnlocked? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 743

You deserved it 6 650

Friends forever

By Left Out - 19/12/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I saw that my boyfriend of 3 years had posted pictures with the girl he says he “sees as a best friend” wearing matching pajamas. He’d told me he wasn’t into the pajamas thing when I wanted to do it. He doesn’t get why I’m upset and told me I’m overreacting about some silly post between “two best friends.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 143

Jealousy

By Karine - 05/12/2023 00:00 - France - Bordeaux

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 217

Offended

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 00:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, after I studied a lot of my time away and taking part in a test, my two friends got good grades, even though they didn't even study as much. Most of the time they did a lot of other stuff, and I don't know why my score isn't as good, and I'm not satisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 398

Misplaced fury

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 15:00

Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 56

The gift of insecurity

By where’d she learn it? - 20/10/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend gave me head for the first time. It was so good, I swear she sucked my soul into another dimension! I was snapped back to earth by the thought that no one sucks that good without years and years of practice. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the other dicks she’s sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 530

Unreasonable

By Whipped af - 05/10/2023 01:30

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 219

Jerk

By GogglesGoggles - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 442

You deserved it 3 688

Pawpaw got game

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 203

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 125

Hiding something?

By Carolina - 16/08/2023 14:00

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 202

Coercive freak

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 615

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 106

Insecure dudes everywhere

By sadcation - 13/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either cancel my amazing work trip or stay with him. I chose the trip and he assured me he’d be gone by the time I got back. His issue? My boss thought it’d be cheaper to get an AirBnB instead of getting us all hotel rooms, and that men are also going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 247

Jealousy is a hell of a drug

By SmhBetches - 11/08/2023 00:02

Today, my “best friend” threw me under the bus and got me fired from my job, possibly getting charges pressed against me. She told on me for sweethearting (ringing up one item when she'd bought multiple items) her, all because I’m dating a guy she likes. She didn’t even tell me she liked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 1 085

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 941

All mixed up

By Jill - 02/08/2023 18:00

Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 1 011

Suspicious

By GabrielleB - 12/07/2023 06:00

Today, I confronted my 32 year-old boyfriend about texting his 17 year-old female coworker. He says they only talk about “work related things and video games” and not about “sex or anything.” What work related things could they be talking about all day and all night long? They work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 200

Jealous much?

By Ruthie - 05/07/2023 18:00

Today, I can no longer talk to my best friend thanks to his insecure, overbearing girlfriend of 3 months. We never talk about anything that crosses boundaries, and it's actually him who initiates the conversations. She’s forced him to block my number and social media accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 182

The past is the past

By Boudoir Babes Hubby - 04/07/2023 06:00

Today, I’ve met the last of my wife’s ex-boyfriends. She’s been out of touch with all of them since we met, but after seeing their shared looks, I'm convinced they all have naked pictures of her. How recent they are is the only remaining question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 781

Crazy ex

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend came up to me to ask me to have access to my Google account, just so she could delete all my photos then break up with me, saying I was in the wrong. She thought it was disrespectful for me to have a life outside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

I'm innocent!

By DavidJ - 16/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 176

Memento

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 14:00

Today, I saw a photo of my wife's ex sucking her boobs in her old phone. I'd told her about em, but she appears to have still kept them because it's a year later, and they haven't been deleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 225

Not OK

By Homeles - 16/06/2023 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was sick and tired of my husband talking to his female friend from high school all the time. They reconnected after 7 years and have been talking non-stop day and night, to the point of neglecting the marriage. I told him it was either me or her. He took off his ring and kicked me out of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 335

Unreasonable

By ImConfused - 29/05/2023 00:02

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 289

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 15:00

Today, I told my boyfriend he has to stop paying half of his baby mama's rent or I would leave. He laughed and said I could leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 755

Panopticon

By never marry a jealous man! - 04/05/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, I got sick of my in-laws always dropping by when my husband was out. Turns out he asked them to check I didn’t have anyone there. When I confronted him, he created a new “rule”. I can either have my mother-in-law stay full time or I can stay at their house until he gets off work. No, I’ve never cheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 139

Suspicious mind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Youngsville

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 598

You deserved it 25 970

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 367

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

The Top

Today, I saw my ex best friend and my cheating ex-girlfriend hanging out at the gym, where I work. They signed up here just to piss me off. It's working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 428

You deserved it 1 133

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 4 228

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 809

You deserved it 4 939

Today, while on holiday in Melbourne, I begged my wife to take a day off from yelling angrily at our 4 year-old. A few hours later, she was cursing and yelling in front of gathering onlookers because he didn't want to go inside LegoLand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 176

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 820

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 98